my self-care week

Maybe it’s because we’re hitting near the mid-point of the semester… But I just found myself not doing well recently. I didn’t realize that my stress and anxiety was building up silently within me, leeching all of my energy. Between my own health taking a hit by a rough cold, my mom being in and out of the hospital a lot the past couple of months, things that are happening on the news, and a case of bad attitudes going around — things needed to change. Something needed to change.

I needed a break. Things were not working the way they were going. So with Fall Break coming up (aka happening right now), I knew it was a good time to hit that reset button and start again.

I went back to the basics: better sleep, better food, and surrounding myself with as much positivity as I could. I watched shows I love (The Good Place), I journaled, I cuddled a friend’s dogs…

I wrote out a new schedule, asked my boss if I could switch hours (which will actually put me in their office for my assistantship more each week), and giving myself time to catch up on everything but also the forgiveness to take care of myself as well.

I’m definitely a firm believer that your mental and emotional health do impact your physical health. I had been internalizing a lot of stress from school and as well as some bad attitudes. Attitudes are 100% contagious, and I try to be mindful of what I’m putting out there. But for a bit there, it was kind of a spiral of exchanging bad attitudes back and forth. I wasn’t going to last the semester the way things were going. I needed to get away from the source of the bad attitude.

I hate this notion that we have to feel guilty for self-care. How is that ever a bad thing, taking care of one’s self? It’s like we wear being stressed out as a badge of honor. You’re obviously not living your best life unless you’ve run yourself ragged. Ugh. I can live a happy and productive life without driving myself to the edge of health and sanity each time.

That is the balance I am trying to achieve. It’s not always easy, and yes, I will fail at times. I will need more breaks for self-care.

I have some good support; online friends who are there for me regardless, and then another friend who just really builds me up and encourages me in a real and honest way. They remind me to be kind to myself, to see past the bullshit my depression or anxiety may tell me. I definitely recommend finding that if you don’t have it. That kind of support can come from a variety of places.

Don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself, friends. Some indulgence in your life is good. Take break from the negativity in your life, and cut out the toxic areas if you are able to. Sometimes its easier to make a clean break. like I am with using Fall Break, but sometimes you just need to make small steps, and do a little at a time.

This world is only getting more stressful. Take care of yourself.

Fun Updates: car, crafts, and cats!

So a lot of smaller, but not insignificant, things have been going on. Thus it’s time for an update post! I’ve been wanting to blog more, but having a hard time finding anything I feel like you all would want to read about at any length. So, for the time being, currently and update posts might just be what happen. If you follow me on other platforms you might know of some of these — and heck, have probably seen some of the pictures.

With the third roommate moved out, and my other roommate and I rearranging most of the apartment, I finally have a little gaming/streaming corner. I moved my big antique writing desk into my room, and then got a basic ikea desk for the PC. There’s not as much room, because it’s not as deep, but it works well for this. I have a privacy screen to block off the rest of the living room, a lot of fun decor, and the cats have their own space as well. It’s a really good use of the space.

With my room being rearranged, I have more wall area to cover — because apparently I can’t have blank empty walls — so I made this moon phase wall hanging based off of one I liked on etsy. Rather than spening $40+, I saved a ton and kind of like it a little more because it’s something I made. I want to replace the dowel for a driftwood stick, which my roommate said she’d bring back for me when she visits Michigan… but overall I think it turned out well. I still need to adjust the left side a little with the length of the twine… but still not a bad job.

Maybe the big thing… I got a new car!! Back in March, my mom gave me her Honda Civic. It was a nice car — older for sure, a 2003, but she was the only owner. Well, after my grandma died, I was driving her dog down to Kentucky to her new home, and got into an accident. Essentially, because of the car’s age and mileage, it totaled the car. All cosmetic. Muffy and I were fine… Well, I had a minor concussion and some temporary nerve problems in my arms. It was just really disappointing, though, to have the car for 2 weeks — it wasn’t even in my name yet — and then that happened. I could have lived with the cosmetic issues… but the driver’s side door lock pins were misaligned, thus making it super frustrating to unlock. It was the base model, so no keyless entry either. Honestly, that is the main reason why I wanted a new car.

So, after looking for a while, I actually found a Fiat I liked that was a good deal. From there the dealer and I found a Mazda3 hatchback that I fell in love with. I even put money down on it. But because of my student loans and graduating soon, we couldn’t find a good point for financing it that I was really comfortable with. Yes, I could afford the car and the payments, but it was at the very top of my budget. So, the dealer did some talking and negotiating on my behalf… and we found that beauty. My new-to-me 2012 Nissan Versa hatchback.  She has great mileage, fuel economy, and is very roomy. We’re actually a two-Nissan Versa hatchback household now, as my roommate has a silver 2014 Note (that she got after totaling her previous car). So, yeah, the universe has a bit of a sense of humor.

I haven’t streamed recently — it’s still part of my fall goals — but I have been very active on Twitch. I’m a mod for a couple partnered streamers, and one has been doing front page stuff recently, so it’s been keeping me a little busy. But I love it. The community is great and it’s been a lot of fun hanging out with online friends.

I know I mentioned that I have been dating around a bit this summer… Well. I turned off all the notifications from the dating apps recently and not because of lack of options or anything. Not going to say much, but I’m excited to see where this goes.

Also, look at Tuija with her new toys. All food based, because of course. Not shown is the fish taco one she absolutely loves to kick around all over the house.

How are things with all of you? What’s going on in your lives? Any new updates?

Fall goals

Ok. So I’m one of those people who believe that the seasons start according to the lunar calendar — so Fall doesn’t official start until the equinox, on September 22nd. PSL out already? Sure fine, but it’s still technically summer right now. Weather cooling off? Awesome, we’re transitioning — still not Fall yet.

So even though I’m four weeks into my Fall semester, Fall hasn’t actually started, so this is a perfect time to think about my Fall Goals.

  1. Complete my CITI training and start my observation at my fieldsite. This semester is all about my thesis research, so getting permission from the campus IRB to do said research is the most important thing. Sadly, CITI training is just long and tedious, thus making it hard for me to want to complete. Need to just push through… maybe reward myself with something nice when it’s all done.
  2. Schedule a weekly visit to the gym. I need to find something that suits my work and academic schedule, but I’d like to spend at least 2 hours at the gym a week. Mostly this will be riding the bikes and then walking the indoor track. I have someone who volunteered to teach me about some of the weight machines, so I’m going to take him up on that sometime.
  3. Stay on top of tidiness in the apartment. So I guess task management and such is a theme… but yeah. I’m one of those where clutter bothers me. So unorganized things out on tables or counters just makes me a little twitchy. It’s not a major issue, so I have no need to really bring it up with my roommate ASAP, but for the sake of our friendship, I’d like to be able to say “hey, can we just check on these areas every so often? And also, what are the areas that you’d like to have checked for your sanity?” I, too, need to be conscious about leaving certain things out. (I tend to leave journals out on tables, and those need to go to one of my desks.)
  4. Stream.  I’m typically too tired by the time I think about streaming in the evenings, so I haven’t for a while now. I definitely miss it. I’m also modding in a couple partnered streams now, so that does take time away from my own things — only slightly; one is a morning streamer, so that does help. But I’d like to stream at least once a week or every other week if I can. Plus, I just finished setting up this sweet new streaming corner, so.. I should really make use of it and show it off.
  5. Put money from my paychecks into my savings. I’m building my savings finally so that I can actually have some money for when I graduate and start looking at moving away. I also want to get a new car, so, that’s a thing too.
  6. Figure out a plan for my business. I’ve taken a little break from my jewelry business, Lost is Found, but I’m ready to get back into it. So I want to keep the website updated, look at doing more on Etsy — even though I don’t really care for Etsy as a shop manager (it’s the fees). I also want to look at doing more local markets. Hopefully, I might be able to talk to one of my favorite shops about doing some consignment potentially.
  7. Set up a doctor’s appointment. Mainly I need to make sure I’m on a good dose of my heart medicine, but I’d also like a general check up since I’m really do for one. My mom’s been in the hospital a lot for her heart, so it’s definitely something on my mind.. And recently my SIL was in for emergency surgery related to the same procedure I had last year… so I’d like to do a check up on that to make sure there’s no complications and that I’m healing properly.

For the most part, that’s most of what I’d like to accomplish at this point. I’m sure I can think of more, but this is definitely manageable. Things are going super well. My assistantship is a great fit, class is going well, I’m staying in touch with my adviser regarding my progress… And, you know, I’m just having fun.

What are some of your goals for Fall?