Currently… (5/18/18)

Feeling: Tired? Bummed? So you know how I wasn’t really looking for much on Tinder? Yeah. Met someone, thought we really clicked, and was super excited to get to know him more… and then everything crashed down. The next day he revealed himself to be an asshole. He accused me of being a slut and a liar… and.. yeah. I’m still kind of hurt about it. If this is dating, I’ll just pass.*

Watching: Nothing that spectacular. I’ve been going through a few shows, but nothing I’m super excited about. I’ve tried looking for new shows — maybe not that hard — but yeah, just haven’t found anything yet. Open to suggestions though!

Playing: Nothing really. Occasionally Two Dots or Dots & Co. on my phone, but yeah. That’s about it. I charged up the Switch recently, so I’m thinking of getting back to Zelda. And, after talking with a few friends, I might boot up the gaming PC and get back to Overwatch and Destiny 2 maybe. Of course, after the million of updates I likely have.

Listening To: Macklemore’s Gemini on repeat in my car. I’ve cut down on my podcasts, and haven’t needed to be on campus so early, so I’m not listening to NPR as much either.

Reading: The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin. I haven’t read anything of hers before, but had seen an adaptation of one of the Earthsea novels once. It’s been going a little slow, but that’s more been to just being pretty tired in the evenings which is when I normally read…

Working on: my CITI training. It’s required for my IRB approval. Which is required for my thesis research. Basically it’s all the legal and ethical stuff regarding using human subjects for my research. It’s boring. Really boring. But required. Hoping to get it done next week, and then I’ll submit my proposal to the board for approval. And then my colleague and I will get our proposal ready for the independent research project we’re working on outside of our theses.

Thinking about: my car. I was in an accident back in late March, early April… and we’re still working on getting everything fixed. The accident could have been worse than it was, and my car is still drivable. So I’m grateful for that. But definitely ready for my car to be fixed.

Craving: a vacation? The semester ended, and then I had roommates move in right away. And while I’ve taken a small break from my research, I haven’t really been able to have a me break. And I need one of those. If I had the money, I’d just go off to a B&B somewhere within a day’s drive… but I don’t. So, I’ve got to figure out another way to get in a break.

Looking forward to: the market this weekend. It’s my second weekend at the market, and I’m hopeful to see some repeat shoppers! I’m getting to know the community there, slowly, and they’re getting to know me and my work. I’m excited about the sales I’m implementing this weekend!

Making me happy: … things are getting back on track. Yeah, that little tinder thing was a hiccup I didn’t need. But overall, things are good. I’m waiting to hear back about my position on the conference executive board. Hoping to get some mentorship programs going with my advisor. The jewelry business has gotten amazing feedback. My mentor said I had a superpower when it comes to my lectures. The weather’s great, I can sit on the porch and read… Things are just feeling normal again. And for that, I am truly grateful.

*I know not all dating is like that. And there are actual good guys out there… it just sucks to get excited about someone and to realize just how wrong you were about them.

Back on the horse (or something maybe a little less euphemistic)

I go through phases with online dating. Most of the time I’m really indifferent towards it. It’s just a site I check when I’m bored, and I don’t invest any real time into it at all. With the semester ending, and realizing I still have another year here… I decided what the hell. Let’s make a tiny bit more of an effort.

I kind of know what I want from a relationship… but at the same time, I don’t really know if I want to get involved with anyone that may interfere with my future plans — i.e. leaving this state for museum jobs or a Ph.D. program. But as much as I really enjoy hanging out with my cohort and my roommates, I wouldn’t mind someone who is a little closer to my age and can fill some other needs that those people can’t (and shouldn’t).

One thing I have found is that the well of 30-something single guys in my area on okc is really dry. Enough so that in my past 3 years of living here, I just figured that’s dating in Indiana and thus I wouldn’t find any eligible non-rightwing guys to spend time with. Internationally, yes. The number of guys in Britain and Turkey who match up with me in the 90%-match range is pretty damn amazing. But I’m lucky to find time to get out of the state, so out of the country is not in the picture!

I’ve been on okc for what feels like forever. I met some really great friends in Chicago on that site. But, yeah, it really wasn’t doing anything for me recently. So… figured let’s just try another site. Or, app, really. And yes. I’m saying that I am now on Tinder.

Initial observations: There are a lot of dudes on Tinder for exactly the reasons you think they’re on Tinder. But you also do have a a fair number of guys looking for “serious” relationships (aka wife hunting). And in my age group a lot of single dads. And of course, a handful of couples looking for thirds. And also my childhood best friend from summer camp — who facebook is saying is still in a committed relationship. (He super liked me.) Yeah.

I swiped right because someone said they wanted to buy me burritos and call me beautiful. #priorities

I’ve met two guys on Tinder so far. I can’t call them dates because, yeah, they were not dates at all. I haven’t talked to the first guy again, but, really wasn’t expecting to. Consenting adults and we knew what we were agreeing to. The second guy and I are developing a friendship. We like each other, but acknowledge we’re not the perfect partner for the other and don’t want to keep each other for finding that person.

I’ve been talking to a small handful of guys consistently. I don’t know if it’s a 30s thing or maybe I’m just getting a really skewed sample size… but do guys just really jump in to calling women “babe” and “honey” so quickly now? I don’t remember that being a thing when I was dating in my 20s. I’ve also thought maybe it’s just guys not wanting to learn my name for whatever reason — I’ve been going to the same Starbucks for 3 years and they still don’t seem to care either!

Anyway. Both of my roommates are also active on dating sites currently, so it’s been fun to compare stories and share various gem of profiles we’ve found so far. I’m not expecting to — or evening looking for — “the one”… but I am hopeful for a few adventures at least!

No Limit Wish List

We all have those items resting in the back of our minds… the things we’d get ourselves if money wasn’t an issue. They don’t have to be big extravagant things, sometimes it’s just that extra little thing you’ve had your eye on but just can’t justify getting.

If I had some extra money, these are likely the top things I’d get for myself.

  1. Chevy Sonic RS Turbo in White. I found this car recently at a local dealer… and it was even within my “realistically if I could get a new-to-me car” budget. But, without a stable job and nothing to put for a down payment, it got away. So now this is at the top of my graduation wish list. Maybe it’ll change as I test drive cars and what’s available… But a turbo hatchback is what I’ve got my eye on — and it’s older brother approved!*
  2. A new blender! My blender has one speed and you have to press the lid down for it to run. I’m ready for an adult blender. One with a food processor attachment.
  3. Air fryer. Yep. Need this. Homemade potato chips? Yes please. Dry rub wings without the oil? Oh hell yes. Now I can feel “healthy” when I eat all the fried junk foods.
  4. Tagine. I’ve never used one, and I’m pretty damn impressed with how expensive they can be… but i’m hoping this will take my attempts at Indian cooking to a new level.
  5. Essential Oil diffuser. Specifically this one. I love it because it looks not only like a giant crystal, but also sort of volcanic, and kind of reminds me a little of a prop from that old Nickelodeon show GUTS. But it’s also $50, which seems like a lot for a diffuser.
  6. New bedding! Apparently mustard-goldenrod yellow is my new color. I want that or a wine-berry with grey combination.
  7. An ikea shopping spree. I’d like a new couch. And bed frame. And coffee table. And console table… (I could also use a wardrobe shopping spree, too.)
  8. A non-carpet-covered cat condo. I want to spoil the cats as well. Of course, if I spent the $100 on this, the cats would completely ignore it. Because cats.

*I may be in my 30s, but yes, my older brother does still get to weigh in on my car purchases. Mainly because he’s the one who does all of my repairs. For free, too, because he loves me.

What’s on your No Limit wish list?