Certain emotions are really easy to understand. We know what it is when we feel happy, or sad, or angry. Those basic emotions are things we can wrap our minds around. I would say that by 25, with everything that I’ve gone through thus far in my life, that I have a good handle on a lot of emotions. Maybe not in controlling them, but in at least identifying them.
But what about love?
What do I really know about love? And is it fair to say that these emotions I’ve been feeling for the past month or so, is that love?
I can’t really describe these emotions attached to Jaron. He makes me really happy. Incredibly happy. I still have those butterflies thinking about him. He makes me smile. Brings joy to my day. I care about him a lot. But is all that love?
I told him, on my last visit, that I loved him. I had attempted on other occasions to say those words, but couldn’t. Then finally, one night, I decided I just had to say it. I needed to get these words out. Because regardless of whether this was love love, in some form or another, I do love him.
He couldn’t say it and have it mean something, he said. But he also said it didn’t bring anything negative to our relationship. Honestly, I didn’t expect any kind of emotion like this from myself at this point. I definitely don’t expect him to be able to say those words and mean it. I respect him for that. I don’t regret saying it, even with the uncertainty of what this emotion is.
Even with saying it, I didn’t want it to change the shape of our relationship. It’s not even been two months yet. I’m having fun with someone who’s turning into my best friend. He makes me laugh. I look forward to time with him, be it online or off. He’s freaking awesome. I’m not looking to rush things. I’m not thinking about forever — I’m not in a stage in my life or in this relationship to think about marriage or kids. Oh hell no. I’m just enjoying this adventure to the fullest.
26-year-old writer, designer, and awesome rock star. I've got 2 rambunctious cats. I play the euphonium, I'm addicted to notebooks, my favorite color is gray, and I love sharks. Also, I'm dedicated to taking on the challenge of being Chicago's Cupcake Expert. 
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Good for you for acknowledging how you feel. So glad you’re happy and enjoying your life. It’s much more than most can say.
I loved Nathan before we even started dating. It was hard at first because I knew that it’s not supposed to happen that quickly. It definitely progressed so I can’t say I was full of the love love that you referred to, but I did love him in some way.
Ashley´s last blog ..I Got Another Confession
Inspector climate told me he loved me after about two months of dating…and I had been thinking about it for about week before he said it.
Sometimes I wonder if this is love…but if it isn’t, I don’t know what is.
It’s easy to love someone, but not necessary quite feel that “in love” yet. But that falling in love, that love you might feel for friends, those things come easier. Even if it’s not something he could say just yet – and really, does it ever come so easy to guys? I think not – I’m sure there’s some relief in having said it yourself. And glad he’s not a typical boy, running away at the first sign of the L-word, ha. You’ve certainly found a winner there!
MinD´s last blog ..Tuneage Tuesday — “Carry Out”
love for everyone is different.
To me, love is butterflies in my belly, feeling a tingle when I think of him and being okay when we’re together and when we’re apart.
Ashli´s last blog ..It’s the way I am, mixed with the way I should be.
A lot of people I know are going through this exact same thing. It is interesting that 2010 has brought so many people good relationships that become best friends, but don’t define it with the word love, but feel it instead.
I did love him in a sense… but there’s still a lot to love that I’ve got to learn.