So. BOYS. Yeah.
Okay, so even though I’ve started hanging out with The Bartender, I am indeed still single.
So. What the hell is going on?
Basically the same thing that’s been going on for a year or so. Casual dating. Hell, even adding the word “dating” isn’t going to sit right with some people. But I’m “keeping things casual”. With more than one boy. Before you make your own judgments on casual dating or on me, I want to state that casual dating is not my preferred method of dating.
From my experience, casual dating (generally) ends in two ways: fizzling out or crashing and burning.
So why do I do it? Eh. I’m an optimist, not to mention quixotic. I mean, I feel like this message is on repeat: I’m a enjoy what happens and see where things go type of girl. If it happens it happens, if not then okay, we tried and hopefully had fun.
However, starting things off with that limitation of “keeping things casual”, to me, isn’t ideal. It’s like saying “I like you enough, but I don’t want to risk it” or “I like you enough to sleep with you, but not to stop sleeping with other people”. I know that’s not what most guys mean to say directly, but that message is in there somewhere. But at the same time, saying that you want to keep things casual is sort of necessary because toying with someone’s emotions just isn’t cool.
So I’m going to keep at whatever the hell this is. And I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, because I’m having a great time. (This is not a “spoke too soon” post.) But I’m still waiting for someone to step up and say that I’m worth it, and doesn’t want to risk losing me because we’re keeping things casual.
26-year-old writer, designer, and awesome rock star. I've got 2 rambunctious cats. I play the euphonium, I'm addicted to notebooks, my favorite color is gray, and I love sharks. Also, I'm dedicated to taking on the challenge of being Chicago's Cupcake Expert. 
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Um about the whole sleeping with people that’s a little more than casual. You probably shouldn’t get to that point with guys before there is some kind of commitment more than friends.
I casual date. Not by choice. It fizzles out after 10 days. Meanwhile, the past 4 relationships I’ve had that last more than 10 days it felt like they wanted something from me instead of wanting me.
“It’s like saying “I like you enough, but I don’t want to risk it” or “I like you enough to sleep with you, but not to stop sleeping with other people”. ”
I COMPLETELY agree with this. I HATE casual dating. I was never good at it (which is why I ended up in two relationships with guys I wasn’t really into–but that’s besides the point!) I want a guy to be absolutely crazy about me. And if you’ve gone on enough dates, i feel like a person should know by then if they LIKE you or if they think “yeah, she’s okay…”
Honestly, BB was trying to play it casual with me and I wasn’t having any of it. Either he’s into me or he’s not (sorry for the cliche, i hate it so much) and so I told him–dude, man up or let me be. As soon as he realized he was going to lose me for playing stupid games, he totally manned up. Maybe you need to start making yourself “unavailable.” I know people will say not to play games, but isn’t he playing games by keeping it ‘casual’?
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If they’re going to just “keep it casual” then they need to know that they WILL lose me. And you’re right. I should make that more clear up front. I’m all for having fun, but games are completely different.
All or nothing, right?
Ah… casualness! (I can’t use that word without thinking of Casual Raiders… may they burn in hell…)
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship that could be considered ‘casual’, but probably because a) girls (in my limited experience) keep quite a tight leash on me and b) I’m not sure I actually care enough to keep a casual relationship going.
I mean, what’s the point? Free sex? Woo…
(Btw, that’s not to say I’ve wanted casual relationships — just that it’s a topic that’s never, ever come up in any of my relationships!)
P.S. still no subscribe-to-comments…
there once was a subscribe-to-comments, but then that plugin got attacked and I was SWAMPED with spam. So I need another plugin.