Last night I went home, and I don’t know if maybe my anti-anxiety meds wore off or something, but I just wasn’t in the best of moods.
We’re lacking antennae to watch basics in our apartment (they’re upstairs at jrosei & libby’s — though they belong to my roommate)… and we’re currently lacking internet until the 9th (had to switch from Mennogirl to Libby)… so that leaves these options: movies, reading, cleaning, or games. Or the other option of just sleeping all evening until you finally decide to actually go to bed.
So, I curled up on the couch and had a minor little pity party for myself. I had gotten it in my head that I had/have absolutely no chance with this really hot guy I like, and on top of that the last string of rejections had more to do with me then the guy or the situation. So I buried myself under my blankets.
And as to be expected, my kittens have a fascination with many things, one of them being tunnelling under blankets. So first Kaija joined me, climbed across my legs then over my back and then cuddled in by my belly. Soon Tuija was in there too, and it was a little kitty spoonfest. So we all cuddled and the kittens nuzzled me and each other.. purring loudly… It wasn’t long before I relaxed and decided not to care about my lack of a chance or my singleness.
I don’t know. I feel like I might be getting mixed signals from said attractive male (whom I may or may not have a chance with)… Maybe he’s flirting, maybe he’s just joking around as a friend… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just dense, like many people in these situations, and need something a bit more obvious… Like “Hey, you’re cute. I like you. Let’s go out some time.” Or the ever popular slightly random make-out sessions… Or if you still want to be subtle, physical touch isn’t always a bad thing — a quick back rub or pat that maybe lingers, a little squeeze on the arm, holding hands even…. hell, just smiling, making eye contact and maybe a little flirty wink or something… I don’t know. But at this point I’m confused.
At least I have my kittens to come home to and cuddle with.
and they’re damn cute. (just like me)