casual encounters: adventures with craigslist

6 March 2009

So, apparently Craigslist is getting sued for promoting prostitution

Now, I won’t deny that this is probably going on and is a serious issue… But I’m not also going to deny that I haven’t perused the casual encounters section of craigslist before… or that I’ve posted there myself.

Before you get your panties in a bunch, you should probably know a few things.  When I first moved to the Second City, after my lovely Chrizzle moved away, I decided I needed a bit of a social life.  So I turned towards the interwebs, namely, criagslist to assist me in this.  I posted at least two ads in the w4m section (and for those of you who don’t know, that’s the “I just want a date” area)…  I got a lot of replies… And well, I checked out the m4w section… and by the end of it I had met 4 different guys.  And well, it didn’t work out with any of them

Recently, I’d been getting bored and in between looking for apartments, I started browsing various personal ads.  This eventually resulted in me wandering over to the casual encounters section.  And yes, that is the “I want sex” section.

I can’t say, no I didn’t/don’t want sex.  But I wasn’t actually seeking it there.  I was just browsing.  Window shopping, if you will.  When it comes to sex, I’ve realized it’s really hard for me to have anything causal.  I’m not really one of those one-night stand sort of girls.  I don’t really know if I’m capable of NSA (no strings attached), and you know, I’m okay with that.  Given that besides the fact that sex is fun, the actual biological purpose of it is to procreate and continue the species.. well, I’m not really wanting to do that right now.  So regardless of what ever precautions we might take, I’d like to feel at least somewhat comfortable with the person I’m willing to risk spawning an offspring with.  It doesn’t mean I want to have a baby with them, I just need to be okay with the process.

So when I posted my ad in the causal encounters w4m area, I had absolutely no intentions on meeting anyone.  I hadn’t even intended on replying.  I was mostly curious and wanted to see what kind of response I could get.  Shallow, yes.  I’m okay with that.  Now, I did my.. research.. before posting.  I wanted to see what others were posting in my section, and well, what they guys were posting too.  With the women, there are hardly any ads with pictures.  A very small percentage.  It’s not that women aren’t posting them — though, on average they’ll post them less than men — it’s mainly that any ad with pictures is inevitably flagged for removal.

This was definitely my experience.  I created a new email account just for this sole purpose of the ad.  Then I placed a really short, simple ad with a picture.  I made sure that my face wasn’t shown, and I changed the color of fabrics in the picture.  The only skin you could see was my stomach.  After four replies and only a few minutes, my ad was flagged for removal.  I tried again a day later.  I changed the wording just a little bit… included the same picture… I received over 90 replies in just under 2 hours before my ad was flagged again.  A fair number of these emails included pictures.  It was actually quite impressive how many men out there are willing to send a random stranger a picture of there man-bits.  However, it’s also impressive how many men out there are willing to display their man-bits to the masses in their ads.  Some even include face pictures.  And some of them in my inbox had definitely been posted in the m4w… (If I was going to actually go through with that, there’d be no way I’d want someone who was a frequent poster of casual encounters.)  And it should be noted, that the men’s ads are hardly ever flagged, even the few that included pictures from adult websites.

It was an interesting experiment.  I’ve definitely confirmed that if I really want to get laid, it won’t be that hard for me to find a willing person.  (And I’m not just talking creepy older men either…)  In all honesty, yes, it was a bitchy whorish thing for me to do, stringing those men’s trust along offering something I have no intentions of actually giving.  But really, you sent a picture of your junk to someone you don’t know.  Maybe trust isn’t an issue.

  • Larry

    We’ve all been there and done that. It’s ok. But it was entertaining!

  • It definitely was entertaining Lar. but you don’t meet girls on CL, you meet girls at Disney… (or well, that’s how you met me way back in like… 2002?)

    Anyway. I’ve been surprised at some of the reaction towards this post (how it hasn’t been negative)… I’ve had 2 different guy friends comment to me personally about it… and one even did his own experiment (and got asked to be a model … not sure if he’s going to follow through with that, though he’s got the body and looks and all that)…

  • I love this post. 90 people in 2 hours rindicates a level of desperation and enthusiasm that pictures of man junk does not inspire (in women).

    Guys who do this haunt CL 24/7 looking for random hookups. A NYC friend, she did this, and met several of the guys in person, and didn’t like them. A junk pic can’t tell you things like, “Bad Breath,” “Disrespectful” and “Drunk by 10 AM.” Several of them got really angry and called her a tease and all this other stuff. She was like, “I met you and I don’t want to fuck you. Sorry.”

    What else could she do, screw them from a sense of duty? I think you have learned a valuable lesson about guys, and your power as a woman. Next time you are getting chatted up, and it seams too good to be true, think “Was this guy just emailing his junk to somebody?”

    Blog on, wench!

    • Thanks! (sorry for the tremendously late reply. life = crazy.)

      Guys on CL, at least around here, should be careful about wanting to meet up just for sex. (Ok. Everyone should be careful.) If a person decides they don’t want to have sex any more, and the other person doesn’t stop, it’s considered rape and you could press charges.

      So they shouldn’t get their shorts in a twist because your friend decided BEFOREHAND that she didn’t want to have sex with them…

  • rindicate? indicate.

  • K

    CL is damn entertaining!

    • Yeah. It definitely is. Though it has been amazingly helpful in finding an apartment and things to put in said apartment. Hopefully it will be just as good in finding people to take away some things from my old place I don’t want/need anymore…

  • Great read, had me in giggles. Now I am kind of sad that casual encounters is going away 🙁 I once had a roomate that used Casual Encounters for sex. The doorbell rings and she’s all “oh yeah I ordered sex from craigslist.” She went through with it and as far as I know he wasn’t a serial killer or whatevs but creep vibes for sure.

    • Thanks Rabbit!

      I heard a rumor it was going away, but I hadn’t actually looked into it. It was definitely a good ego boost. Though, I never actually went through with it. Did your roommate just meet one guy? Or did she browse the menu? 😉

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