I don't know what to say… (Boy Drama, part 2)

6 August 2009

So, I left off confused and concerted about the boy because he said he might get back with his ex, or get a restraining order… I said a lot has happened, and it truly has…

A few days after that conversation, the boy’s band was headlining a show.  I was excited.  Not only would I get to hang out with him, but I’d get to see him rock out on his drums, quite possibly without his shirt.  (Remember, former gymnast… boy is HOT… but seriously, I liked him for more than his body, that was just an amazing bonus.)  So.  I text him some while I’m partaking in BlogHer activities (see: Jenn & Rini start drinking mid-afternoon)… Nothing seems unusual.  I tell him I’m bringing swag… all seems good.

I leave my amazing blogging friends and catch a cab, 1200 bags of swag in tow, and head up to his show.  When I arrive, I notice his ex is there… no biggie, I knew she would be.  So the boy and I stash all my stuff with his drums.  We get up to the bar, and he introduces me to his ex.

“So, um, are you two back together?”
“Yeah.”
….
“I don’t know what to tell you.”

I then went out side and vented for about 10-15 minutes with one of his friends… Had his friend go back inside and tell the boy I want my stuff and I’m leaving.  However, after getting my stuff, two more of his friends came outside and I talked with these three guys for about 45-60 minutes before the boy’s band was about to play.  And you know what, I actually had a fun time hanging out with his friends.  They agreed that it was BS and a very douche bag move on the boy’s part.  I actually wouldn’t mind hanging out with them again.

Again… with the exception of venting to his friends for a while, I didn’t blow up.  I didn’t yell at him.  I didn’t make a scene at the bar.  I went outside and vented, not even loudly.  The next morning… this is what I sent him:

“I’m going to ask that you don’t reply…. at least, not unless you really feel the need to.  But at this point, I’m just not ready.

What you did seriously hurt, and the fact that you couldn’t even apologize for it hurt worse.
The last I heard was that you might get back with [your ex] or that you’d get a restraining order on her.  So that you didn’t even give me a heads up that you decided to get back with her wasn’t cool.  I’m not ready to deal with this, or the two of you together.  Having that heads up would have allowed me to stay with my friends at the conference and not spend money on a cab there, the cover, and then the cab back home.  Not-to-mention just the emotional stress of the night.

You have no idea how grateful I am for your friends.  Just the fact that they were willing to listen to a stranger’s problem and try to cheer me up really meant a lot to me.  They’re good people.  And I’m actually hoping to keep in touch with them.

I really do mean it that I want you to be happy and hope you’re doing what’s best for you.  I still think that you’re a really great guy.  I had a lot of fun getting to know you and hanging out with you.  But, I’m going to need time before I’m ready see you (as a friend) again.  This hurt a lot, and I didn’t deserve that.

Hope your show went well, and I am sad that I couldn’t stay.  Maybe another time.  I’m going to retract my invitation to play with the reading band and at our show at the Hideout for the time being.  If you want to go to the show, that’s your choice.  Hope you understand.”

… He’s respected my wishes, and I haven’t heard from him since that night.  That was on the 25th of July.  A decent amount of time and a lot of life has happened since then.  At this point, I’m not mad at him… just hurt.  I can forgive the person, but I still am working through the situation.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that big of a situation.  It sucks, I didn’t deserve it… but you know what, there’s something better out there for me.  (It’s taking it’s damn time getting to me though!)

  • How come guys are always picking the ones whom they have, for a time at least, considered a restraining order against?

    • Who knows! I just hope he’s making the best decision for himself…

  • “How come guys are always picking the ones whom they have, for a time at least, considered a restraining order against?”

    Yes, this. Freaking mystery to me!

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