a frightening reality: I don't want to leave.

18 August 2009

I’ve gotten myself into a situation.

I don’t regret leaving my job at all.  It wasn’t a healthy situation for me, and I’d been having issues for a year before I finally quit.

However.  As it comes to it now… I may have to leave Chicago.

It’s so close to being reality, that I’m fighting back tears.  Chicago has become my home — even when I was living in the Northern Territories…  I can’t imagine living anywhere else right now, and I definitely do not want to move back to Indiana.  The only perk of that would be seeing my family more often.

Leaving Chicago would mean leaving my friends behind.  Leaving the communities I’m getting involved with.  Leaving the parks, museums, concerts, small bars, walking places, the lake!, just everything this city has to offer.  Leaving crushes I’m not ready to get over yet.  It means having to rethink grad school all over again.  I means trying to figure out how I’m going to get all my stuff into my mom’s all ready packed with my crap house.

… It means giving up the kittens.  My mom’s got a dog and a cat (both of which were previously mine)… There’s barely room for me, but I know there’s no room for two more animals.

I’m still trying to find a job here.  I’m not giving up.  But I’m scared.
I don’t know what’s going to happen.

If I get the check for my share of the deposit on the old apartment, I’m safe for one more month.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.  I’m not ready to leave!

  • Oh no- I’ll definitely send you my good-stay-in-chicago thoughts!

    • Just got an email last night! The check is on it’s way and I have one more month to find a job/some sort of income!!

  • Glad the check is on its way!

    • me too!

      … though, sorry that my passive aggressiveness seeped into my blog…
      I really was nervous though!

  • CMigs

    Have you looked into registering with a temp agency? When I was out of a job, I temped until I found one. There are several temp agencies that focus exclusively on people with skills in the creative fields. With your web and graphic design experience, you should be able to find some work. Let me know if you want names of creatively focused temp agencies.

    • I’ve thought about that… but haven’t looked into any just yet. But it’s probably a good idea.

  • CMigs

    Forgive me for my advice-giving Tourette’s syndrome:

    okay, I’ve played the temp game before and here are some tips:

    *register with as many agencies as possible
    *follow up often
    *tell them you want a temp-to-perm position. that way they won’t send you to a different crappy-assed reception job each day.
    *if you’re not happy with your temp-to-perm job, tell them you want another one.

    • Awesome! Thanks!! 🙂

  • Oh noes! Glad check is on the way. Ill keep my fingers crossed for ya. But remember you can always come back : )

    • Given I have another month, I should be able to find something… 🙂

  • So glad you have another month. Yay for that!

    I went through the same thing, questioning if I’d have to move back to PA, when the ex and I split. We lived together and I couldn’t find a roommate nor somewhere I could reasonably afford by myself. Luckily, a woman I knew through my job said she’d fix up a house for me quickly that I could rent. It was a miracle!

    I’m crossing my fingers for you that everything works out.

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