and explaining…

14 September 2009

Okay.  That last post was vague.

I’m sort of grumpy from the whole lack of sleep last night… The kittens think it’s fun to run a muck through my tiny apartment the entire night.  I wasn’t sure if they were going to tear the curtains down or jump on my face or bring down my entire basket of panties from the closest… or all of the above.  So I didn’t sleep well last night.  (Hopefully this isn’t some habit they’re building… otherwise they’ll get put in the laundry room on a few nights…)

Anyway.  This is what’s been bothering me:

I talked to the boy recently.  You know, the guy who picked his crazy ex who broke into his apartment over me without giving me a heads up until I was meeting her at his concert…  Yeah, him.  I had talked to him a couple times before this (and after that incident), nothing much though.  Small talk.  But this time… well, I found out that he left his ex yet again.  A while ago.  Meaning not long after he put me through that.

Breaking up sucks, but I would have rather had that than the whole drama of finding out the person you thought you were seeing is dating someone he previously considered getting a restraining order on…  I was hurt.  A lot.  For that.

Anyway.  It’s sort of pointless — it’s been months, but it brought back a lot of the pain from that rejection…  I have no interest in him, and am obviously attracted to some one else right now.  But I don’t like thinking about rejection (and all that comes with it).  I don’t like doubting things (and myself), especially when there doesn’t seem to be a reason to…

…Oh.. also, the fact that it’s my niece’s 4th birthday this weekend, and I won’t be going back home to see her… That sucks.  A lot…  I miss that little girl something fierce.

  • How exactly do boys have this way of making us feel horrible about things even months after they occurred? Sorry you’re dealing with this whatsoever hun. That certainly sucks, and I’m sure those kitties don’t make the stress any better!

    • It’s my own memory of that rejection, and a few others this summer… It still hurts thinking about it, but honestly I have moved on… I just hate the doubt it brings… I have no reason to doubt myself, others, or things that are happening…

      I’m just sort of stuck in my own thoughts right now, journaling probably too much…

      Anyway. Thanks, MinD…

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