The tale of the Four-Day Boyfriend

7 January 2010

So.  I recently had a boyfriend.  For four days.

He made me really happy, but I wasn’t ready for the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing with him just yet — major surprise to me.  So I wanted to step back.  And I probably fumbled my words a lot when I said this.  Anyway.  He decided he never wants to hear from me again.

And that’s the tale of my Four-Day Boyfriend.

It still hurts some.  He’s a sweet guy who treated me well.  Something just didn’t feel right.  And rather than wait for a fiery crash, I did something.

However, just today, I noticed he viewed my profile on the dating site we met on.  I so wanted to contact him.  But I’m not going to.  He asked that I didn’t contact him, he unfriended me on facebook and deleted any record of me.

At least he said goodbye, unlike some other guys who were once in my life. (Remember that time I was involved with another blogger?) … anyway.

This is where I say I’m still trying.  I’m still hopeful I’ll find some amazing guy — or he’ll find me… that somehow this amazing person will enter my life.  I’m not asking for the love of my life… I’m still young.  But yeah, I wouldn’t mind someone decent to spend some time with.

  • I’m sorry my dear… but maybe this is a blessing in disguise. If he wasn’t ready to move at your pace, you would only continue to question it more. You totally deserve someone who understands that and can be accommodating to your needs. Props to you though for staying optimistic 🙂

    • Aw, thanks lady. 🙂

      That’s sort of how I’m viewing it. He wasn’t even willing to really talk about it or “fight” for the relationship… All for the best maybe. (He’ll make some girl really happy though.)

  • at least you knew that you didn’t like him enough and ended it there rather than dragging it out. i would have saved myself seven months if i had followed my instincts with my last boyfriend.

    well, lesson learned.

    • It’s hard to trust your gut when the pink fluffy brain goo is all like “he’s so cute, he liiiiiikes, you want to kiiiiisssss him…”

  • New to your blog, but I can *so* relate! Like they said, props to you for following your gut instinct (even if it stings for a little while).

    • thanks. and welcome! 🙂

  • Well, my 2 cents: you did the right thing. I was never interested in beating around the bush with boys and if it’s not right, you can’t force it to be right. I think it’s so great you’re so willing to put yourself out there, though. There will always be more boys 😉

    • Indeed, there will always been more boys…. however.. um, I’m sort of already lost track of how many there were last year…

  • Another new commenter here who can relate as well! When you know, you know. And why drag it out? There are lots of fish in the sea…

    • Welcome!

      Maybe something could have worked, given time and effort… but yeah…

  • CMigs

    He sounds like a nut job. Why would you get so upset after the end of a four-day relationship?

    • I probably shouldn’t be. And really I’m not too much. I don’t like how things ended or that I hurt him… he truly treated me well and was just a sweet guy. But as has been mentioned, you can’t force a relationship.

  • CMigs

    oh, no, I meant why would HE get so upset after a four-day relationship.

    • Oh. Ha. Yeah. No idea.

      Apparently he was an all or nothing guy. And if I wasn’t going to keep that label of “girlfriend” then continuing to see each other or even talk to each other wasn’t going to happen either.

      As Lovely and I say… all too often…. BOYS.

  • You dated for four days and he’s so bitter he wants no more contact? Jeez. Clearly you made the right decision (or so I’d say). It’s definitely important to follow your instincts in dating and if it didn’t feel right only four days in, then the chances of that improving are likely slim. The beginning of a relationship should be blissful and happy. Any thoughts of uncertainty, and it’s probably not the best decision. I say you did the right thing. Try not to feel so badly about it.

  • CMigs

    I’m looking for a man who functions more as a decorative object than a romantic partner.

    • Nothing a little wrong with a hot piece of man-candy. 😉

      Maybe I should actually figure out what I want… but that’s part of the joy of dating, figuring things out… Anyway.. Someone I can go have a fun time with, someone to cuddle at home with, and someone to make out like crazy with…

  • The Boy formerly known as Prince

    Hello Erini, you like my name? LOL

    seriously though…
    sometimes people make choices that causes others to scratch their head in wonder. I never questioned your choice, never would i disrespect you or distrust your ideas. I woke up late to a text, and that text was typed as a final decision..more importantly to me it was your decision. the choice was never presented in a way where i could disagree or work anything out with you. on my side of the pond i did disagree 100% yet i really did not know why you made that choice and again i was in a place where i couldn’t even ask why.

    but i am the type not to drop something my mind ponders on and i know when we would of talked next my disagreement will come out (and probably not in the nicest way). since i know what i would do i made a choice to just walk away. walk away being the guy who had you “smitten” and was sweet and was super nice without any real negative and most importantly walk away being the guy who never questioned your opinion or in anyway disrespected your choice. I could walk away being the perfect dude..well you get the idea.

    a few days ago i discovered my iphone tethering hack was stopping my phone from letting me know i have voice mails (since September! OMG), and i listened to your voicemail..hmmm you sounded a bit more willing to talk about your decision. GREAT! i fucked up..even trying to be the best you known i still fucked up.

    so there you have it, it was never about all or nothing with me (did you forget i was happy just texting you, what you think my 4 days of being bf raised my standards.. joking), it had nothing to do with being bf/gf/wtf or anything, remember when i told you in the car i never cared about labels like that..

    i do miss you, i do check this blog, pink dino, and your twitter everyday, i enjoyed your kiss and your smile. the best part about our time was how open you were, you just showed the world your feelings for me (literally) and for me.. i always wanted that..i seem to suffer from knowing when someone likes me unless i am told directly. i can admit these things and even admit my fuck up to the world (I.E. why i am posting this here) but i don’t care what anyone else really thinks..after all to me it was always about you and why this is addressed to you.

    i am sorry for my reply to you, but i don’t regret it..i made the best choice i could at that moment with what was presented to me at that moment.

    we never did get to watch Ice Age together though (OMG I HEART BUCK!)..

    Good day Erini..
    William D.

    ps..i really suck at writing..eew i am writing on a blog..ugh i double suck..

    • I just need you to know that I’ve read this… multiple times.
      I’m not sure what to say.

      … I’ll contact you when I’m ready.

  • CMigs

    Now I feel like a voyeur.

    • Now? Just now? Not even when I was talking about my underwear?? 😉

  • CMigs

    I have weird definitions of privacy.

  • Jeff Jeff

    So four years ago in September, I had a 4 day girlfriend, actually wait it was 5 days. 2 dates. I overdid it for her too. On the second date, I gave her a CD and a rose. The CD was just for her and professionally done. It impacted her enough to write me every 6 months because of it.

    We hate each other now 🙂 On that second date, I bought her a rose. She loved it. Then the next day, she told me roses were so unoriginal and if she was smiling, its because she was being nice 🙂

    I think she hates me, because I raised the bar. I hate her, because I failed. There were other issues too (like her bff’s bf on the date), but even if those issues didn’t exist, we’d still hate one another. I know she hates me by raising the bar, because she still remembers me and writes me about it every so often. She’s been engaged twice, but points out they never treated her like I did in those 5 days. It is a beautiful thing 🙂

    Now I try far far less and it feels wonderful to not try 🙂

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