what I want…

29 June 2010

a pony! oh, wait…

Every once in a while, I like to go through and evaluate what I want in life.  Most of the time I only think about at one area at any given time.. but I thought I’d go through a good handful here and see where I’m at.

Relationships:

BOYS.
It still doesn’t feel I’m looking for much — and that’s not meant to be an insult to the boys I want.  I still am looking for companionship.   That best friend and adventure buddy (to steal a term from Josh), who, of course, we can make out like horny high schoolers (and much more).  I want them to inspire and encourage me, just as I hope to be a positive influence on their lives.  But honestly, I’m not seeking out forever — if it happens, cool… But I’m much more of a let’s have fun, enjoy each other, and see where it goes.

Friends
I think mostly I’d like a consistent group to do things with — which I think is also why I’d like a boyfriend; it’s someone to do something with on a regular basis.  I love my friends, but sometimes it’s hard to find even one person to do something with.

Family
Things are pretty good.  I’d love more time with them, of course.  Especially my grandparents — well, I should say some of them, I do have 5 grandmothers and 4 grandfathers.  I could always use more time with my niece.  And apparently, my puppy is getting worse in his old age…  So time.  I’d like more time.  And some of my late stepmom’s potato soup.

Career Stuffs:

Current Job
The job’s been full of ups and downs.  It’s not terrible, but it’s not my passion.  And I’m getting used to Josh not being there.  I think when it comes down to it, I know this job isn’t going to keep me.  I just want a better opportunity to come, and for my boss to understand.

Goals
I want this school to really start getting underway.  I’d like to find a mentor or two.  And, as much as I want this community education center to be my project, my baby… I know I’m going to need help.  I want things to fall in place, and for the first courses to start either this fall, or in the winter term.  For us to find a building next summer and to be ready for courses next fall.

Education:

It seems crazy, but working full time, then also full time for the community education center I’m starting, that I’d also want to start grad school.  I’m going to continue on with my plans of starting my MFA in Creative Writing.  And I might, also, put in my application for a MA in Zoology… and I’ll probably take a couple business courses.  Either way, I think I’ll apply for more than just an MFA and see what happens.

Financial:

Yeah.  I’d like to get this stuff in better order.  But I’m working on it.

Other:

There seems to be a lot of other small things I want, but there’s been one that’s stuck around for a while… to practice my horn more and actually become a better musician, and to have confidence in my ability…  All I need to do is practice, right?  Maybe if there was some sort of mute large enough or some sound proof room where I could practice.  Just until I get my confidence back.

  • Nose E.

    Remember to bite things off in small chunks. I think you might get overwhelmed if you try to accomplish all these things at once. I’m going through a huge change in my life right now (no, not “the change”), and the thing that has kept me sane is focusing each day on completing a small part of the large task at hand. I think sometimes when we get anxious we set up a bunch of giant plans because we want so much to get into a situation that is radically different from the one we’re in. One thing I’ve learned is that changes in life usually never move at the pace you want them to move, but there can be a reason for that. Then, BOOM, suddenly everything you’ve been working for comes together and you realize that all your labor was not in vain.

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