Jobless, broke, and trapped in Indiana.

17 January 2011

I knew moving home was going to be an adjustment.  This is the first time that I have lived with, rather than visited, my father since he was married to my mom.  They divorced sometime around or before I entered kindergarten.  So, it’s definitely been a while.  Among all the differences and changes and such, the thing that’s hit the hardest has been the fact that I AM GOING STIR CRAZY.

In Chicago, I didn’t have a car or really much desire to drive places.  As much as we like to complain about the CTA, I was in love with it.  I relied on it daily.  So when my license expired on my 25th birthday, and I was lacking the proper documents to renew it, I didn’t worry.  But now, 18 months later, stuck in middle of nowhere Indiana, it means I am completely TRAPPED at home.

If it was just me, I could deal with it.  However, the only person who leaves the house on a regular basis is our foreign exchange student.  She attends a local high school.  All four of my younger sisters (ranging in ages from almost 8 to a 15 and half year old) are all home school by our stepmom.  (Their mother passed away in 2006.)  My father works from home in the basement about 80% of the time.  There is no privacy in this house unless you’re in the bathroom with the fans running.

Luckily I did renew my license (and thanks to Indiana I only had to take the written test) and I do have access to the car.  If only I had a place to go.  Farm towns aren’t really structured for social life.  It makes me miss Chicago even more with the constant barrage of things to do — and question my sisters more when they adamantly state how they could “never” live in Chicago. I’m jealous of everyone who will get to sign up for BiSC.  I’m jealous of Jenn and the other Ambassadors going to New York.

I’m jobless, broke, and trapped in Indiana.  It probably explains why I am creating silly things like IROCs.

The good news is that I do have a phone interview tomorrow for a job, albeit temporary.  Wednesday I will be back in Chicago to visit the Portfolio School, as well as complete my application interview.  Thursday I will finally be heading south to my mom’s — and I will also visit all the grandparents and family (aka finally celebrate Christmas with them).  I’ll return to my dad’s either Sunday night or some time on Monday.  Some time in February, I’ll be visiting this kick-ass lady in St. Louis.  So there is a little excitement coming for me… but I am sooooo ready to be back in my city.

Chicago, I miss you.

  • A few years ago, due to finances, I had to move out of my city and into a suburb…I moved back, and then moved to the suburbs again to live with my boyfriend. Seven months ago, we moved back to the city and I’ll never leave. I can totally relate to that feeling of being sad and trapped with few things to do. Remember, it’s only temporary—you’ll be back on top soon.

    • Erini

      Thanks Amy! I keep trying to remind myself that this is short term, and I have interviews coming up and such… but it’s hard to hold on to those thoughts. I just want to sit and rest, maybe get lost in a book — but my dad wants me to unpack everything then repack it again. Moving everything into the basement (rather than keeping them in the garage) leaves a sense of permanence with me — something I don’t want. Leaving it out there reminds me more of how soon I’d like to load it all up on a truck again, moving back to the city…

  • 🙁 being out of your element/away from where your heart wants to be sucks balls. luckily, it’s not forever. good luck with the interview. have fun at the portfolio school and visiting. chicago will be there waiting for your return 🙂

    i kinda wish i was going to bisc, too. maybe next year

    • Erini

      thanks Michelle!

      One of these days we’ll do BiSC… one of these days…

  • I had to move in with my grandparents for two years after a relationship went sour. My belongings were put in storage, I had a curfew (at 24) and I had to tell my grandparents about every friend or guy I went out with. Awkward.

    But it was a temporary challenge. Sometimes, I kind of miss it. Mostly for the company when I was lonely and the great food. But just know that your situation IS temporary. Look at it as blog fodder, or research for a short story instead 🙂

    • Erini

      Most of my requirements for living here are reasonable. I had to do ALL the chores living on my own, so only having to do 2-3 is nice. I think the only thing I dislike is being forced to go to church. At this point in my life, I’d like to have an option for this. They’re at least letting me choose my church.

      My dad’s going out to LA in February… I desperately want to go with him so I can visit.

  • I had to move back in with my parents for a while a few years ago and I felt the same. It’s such an adjustment moving from the city where you have freedom to feeling trapped somewhere boring. I feel your pain.

    • Erini

      crazy adjustment… hoping for good news this week so I can move back soon!

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