don't judge me by the length of my hair.

4 December 2011

I miss my hair.

This is the first time I’ve felt this way since I cut it all off back in July. I’ve loved having short hair again. But for some reason today, I’m just not sure any more and well, I know I’ve got a while to wait if I actually do want to grow it out again.

So why all of a sudden do I feel like Sampson post-Delilah? It’s probably just a funk that’ll pass. But it’s not one I’m enjoying right now. (Especially since I just got my hair cut yesterday by a killer stylist.)

I loved my short hair because it was simpler. I have a ton of product for it, but don’t use any of it. Not often, at least. Wash, tousle, flatten what needs to be flatten–with my hands, not a flat iron–then go. It was awesome. It is awesome. But having short hair does require a bit more work… just elsewhere. Make up. Nail polish. Girly stuffs.

I’m a tshirt and jeans sort of girl. Always have been. It’s not that I dislike the girly things. In fact, if Chicago’s weather weren’t what it was, I’d happily wear skirts and dresses all year. Hell, in the summer I’m a bikini and short shorts type of girl. (Well, at the beach. I’m practical… ish.) But with having short hair, it feel like I have to make more of an effort to appear feminine. It’s the reason I started painting my nails, something I previously couldn’t stand. Feeling like I have to make that effort, not a big fan.

Stacey wrote about this today. “Guys did not want to get with me if I was not all dolled up because they all thought I liked girls and it was weird and awkward…” It’s not that guys haven’t made passes at me since I’ve cut my hair off… but it was never on a tshirt and jeans day. I hate to imagine that there are so many insecure guys out there who won’t just say hey because of the length of my hair. And I know, those aren’t the types of guys I want anyway… But this girl’s not asking for a lifetime or any of that right now (and definitely not upfront)… just a date or two and some making out. (What? Being honest.)

At this point, I don’t have plans on growing my hair out. And if I decided to girly up my wardrobe more or maybe wear make up more often, I’m doing it for me and because I want to, not because I feel I have to just to get a dude. (No guy is worth that.) But sometimes, guys, you make me feel like nothing short of tattooing “not a lesbian” on my forehead will work. So step it up and stop being dicks. I don’t miss my hair because guys are dumb, I just miss the different sort of simplicity it gave me. Luckily this funk will pass and I’ll continue rockin’ out the short do with the same confidence I had these past few months.

*I don’t feel like I have to say this, but I’m going to: there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian. It’s just not who I am. I like men. And that’s perfectly okay too.

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