on wanting and not getting

Lately I feel like I’ve been trapped in a series of “I want, but can’t have”…

Maybe it’s a case of day dreaming too much, or being a hopeless romantic, or hell, just being me… But it feels like in various areas of my life I’ll get excited and then pretty much run head first into a wall. Whether it’s someone saying no, me simply not knowing how to proceed, or whatever–there’s something there that’s keeping what I want just out of reach. It’s like coasting around being in first, and then getting hit with a blue shell out of no where–coming to and being like, “what the?! where am I?” and having to fight your way back to first again.*

In class last night we talked about how the conflict in your plot should always get worse throughout the story. Each action should worsen or intensify the main problem or struggle. But should this be the case for life? Obviously, I’m going to vote no. I want to have a career as a writer. I want to find someone to be happy with and get to be with that person. I want to not have to deal with various health issues. I want to be confident in all that I do. I want. I want. I want.

I’m going to continue to do what all traditional advice says to do: I’m going to press on. I’m going to remember that you can’t always get what you want. I’m going to figure out what means the most to me, and fight for those things. I’m not going to give up.

However, as I learned last night in class… “words are nets through which all truth escapes.” Take that to mean what you want…

*Yes. I did just make a Mario Kart reference. +1 nerd.
**In other news… the portfolio site is up! check it out: erinichristine.com