small steps or big leaps?

20 August 2012

When it comes to many things, including big life things, I’m definitely great at talking, planning, and dreaming. But I fall short on the doing part.

Granted, I love the talking, planning, and dreaming part. In fact, I really wish it was a full time job where I could hand it off to a bunch of doers to get projects up and going, and then you know, keep them going. I realize that yes, there are real jobs like this, but again: talker/planner/dreamer. (Also, I don’t always know what these jobs are called.)

Anyway. As you’ll remember, at the end of last year I decided I wanted to take my writing more seriously so I enrolled into the University of Chicago’s Writer’s Studio. It’s a small step towards my goal. Which is a really good thing–I’ve only completed one quarter and I know a lot more good writing and writing habits will come out of this (as well as 100+ pages of “publish-worthy” writing at the very end)… However, yes, I’m also impatient.

Recently, as in 9 days ago, Katherine moved in with me. She quit her job, packed up her stuff, and moved across the country. Abby, along with moving around the world to South Korea, also just self-published two books. Those are big leaps.

I’ve made some big leaps in my past; moving to Chicago, quitting jobs, joining a crazy group of band nerds, cutting off the majority of my hair… But it hasn’t felt like I’ve made a BIG leap in quite a while. It also feels like it might be time for one–but I just haven’t figured out any of the details. I feel that if I jump now, it’s going to be more like throwing things at the wall and hoping one of them sticks.

This feeling of not quite being satisfied, but not knowing which direction to turn, has been frustrating. I love having a lot of passions, but it makes figuring out a career path annoying. And most of what I found on blending various passions into a career really was just “here’s how to be a life coach just like me!” or “earn money from your blog!” … I know I’ll figure it out eventually. I just have to hope I can be patient enough to let things get worked out.

Why can’t I just get paid for being awesome?

(also: 600th post y’all.)

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