the big question: what do I want to do with my life now?

Thanks to tour and the long holiday weekend, unemployment hasn’t felt like unemployment. However, today is the start of my first full week at home with no job.

But in this short time of not working, my parents have brought up — more than once, of course — where am I going to apply for jobs? What am I going to do next? While they want to encourage me to do something I love, they also want me to be able to pay my bills/debt and have health insurance. Traditional employment.

However… I don’t actually know what I want to do next…

I’ve got lots of ideas. But no direction or leadings.

I keep coming back to two main things: writing and education. Those are two things that you could say I keep getting called to, over and over again. Any time I assess what I want to do with my life — whether I’m employed or not — those two main themes of writing and education come up every time. I’m just not so sure of how to turn those two things into some for of career or sustainable income.

Part of the confusion comes from this large group of “non-career” interests that are also trying to take my focus. I really want to travel. A lot. While I love Chicago, there’s so much more out there. I also want to spend more time cooking and learning more about food and nutrition. I want to be a better hobby-photographer. I want to be more active, maybe take up running or biking or kick ball or aerials.  I want to spend more time on this blog. And I really, really want to spend more time with creative activities. Things like drawing, ceramics, crafting… But those aren’t really sustainable income type of pursuits — at least, not for me. Not that I know of…

So at this point… I have no idea what is coming next, or even which way to turn. I want to make the most of this opportunity I’ve been given. Not to just take any job because it’s a job. But I don’t want to disappoint my family by not pushing harder for some sort of “stable” job.

I would say it’s like traveling without a map, except I really don’t know my destination.