current thoughts on dating

6 November 2013

For some reason, dating has been on my mind lately. But nothing really serious, almost like a indifferent musing.

It’s been over a year and a half since I’ve gone out with a guy, and almost 3 years since my last boyfriend. And while I do indeed want love, a partner, and a family one day… I’m just sort of not concerned about dating or trying to find a relationship. It sort of feels weird, which might be why I’m so amused by it.

We’re constantly given so many messages on how to find the right guy/girl. There are all these stories about how happy-in-love people are that are supposed to make us want that too — that it’s the norm. And of course, I’m in that point of my life where so many people in my social circles have been getting married or having babies… It’s all well and good and all, but I just don’t feel phased by it. Right now I’m satisfied with just finding particular guys attractive but not giving any thought towards actually pursuing them for a relationship or anything.

I feel like I’m just getting used to doing things alone. I’m planning my life solely around what I want without any thought of adding someone else’s needs or goals into the mix. Even my thoughts on parenthood don’t focus on a spouse but more-so on an adoption as a single parent. I mean, yes: I want the big crazy wedding, I want someone to wake up to, someone who accepts me and all my weirdness. But, currently… I guess I’ve just come to accept this is where my life’s at. I’m ok without those things right now. My life’s going pretty well, all things given — and it has nothing to do with my relationship status.

  • I totally, totally understand this because I am basically in the same place. I’ve dated a little this year but not a lot and I’m just OKAY with that. I want to find love and find my future husband… but it’s not the end-all, be-all for me. My life is pretty great right now as it is!

  • I’ve taken year long breaks between dating– and it’s always long enough to really enjoy my independence and figure out how to make life as I want it. Then I go and ruin it by dating some weirdo 😉 This last time though… I TOTALLY swore off men. I was like “I’m adopting babies in my 30s and I’ll buy whatever damn house I want!” and I decided to pour all my sexual tension into gardening and bought all these vegetables and compost– then I met the guy who I’ve been dating for the last long while and who is wonderful. So, you know, life is dumb like that. Can’t waste your time waiting and wanting for a man. Just get out there and do what you want– though planting a garden might be some like sign you send out to the universe that gets you a boyfriend. Not sure.

  • I think this is such a good place to be in, really. They always say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else, & it sounds like you’re doing all the right things to have a full & fulfilling solo life – & whenever that person comes along, you’ll be ready for that transition.

  • howie

    the important thing is that you are happy, and hopefully healthy too. love seems to have a way of seeking you out, whoever and wherever that guy/girl is for you.
    enjoy your weekend

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