stuck.

It’s a new year and a perfect time for assessing goals and priorities. I mean, that’s just what you do around New Years, right? As I’m reading through various blogs and such, and seeing everyone’s goals and resolutions and new mottos and words… I’m realizing that these are things I can’t apply to my own life. I just don’t have the capacity, right now, to think about these sorts of things.

Before Christmas, yeah, I was actually starting to think about some goals for the new year… But now? I’m in this weird, hazy limbo. There’s too much else going on. Or really, I’ve got to sort out this move before I can do anything else — before I can even think about how I want to move my life forward.

Stress can create this perfect wall. It’s like you’re either trapped inside it and can’t focus on anything else until this is handled, or you’re outside it just not able to deal with it as it implodes on itself. I definitely feel like I’m on the inside part, but still having a hard time dealing with it and just sort of watching it implode in on me.

I want to be able to think about all the awesome things I want to do and accomplish this year. To jump on the bandwagon of “yay 2014!”… A new apartment is definitely a fresh start, and part of that does excite me… but it’s sort of hard even envisioning that happening — and that’s supposedly only two days away! I know it’ll all work out some how, even if I have no idea what that “some how” even is… I know I’ll get through it and this will just be a blip in the past… But right now I’m just stressed.

I feel like I’m a dinosaur stuck in the tar pit, and I’m just ready to give up.