Despite some last bit of snow that came through last week, Spring’s finally arrived in Chicago. Robins are hopping around in puddles, bunnies are running around, and people are coming out finally ready to ditch their cabin fever. Baseball season has started, and soon they’re be block parties and concerts in the park… It’s Chicago at it’s best.
Yet, as much as I love all of these things, my heart’s just not in it. I hate admitting it, but I think I’d ready to leave Chicago. At least for a bit.
Paige wrote about this recently, and she sort of sums up my own thoughts much more eloquently than I could. I love Chicago. This is exactly where I thought I’d plant my roots and settle down. And if you would have asked me last year, I would have told you with confidence that Chicago is my home and will always be my home.
On some levels, I think Chicago really does appeal to my Finnish side. It’s got sisu. It’s a Finnish term that generally gets translated as pride. But it’s more than pride; it’s a deep love and respect. There are times when this city makes me feel so alive. When I can’t imagine living anywhere else. When I feel so grateful to be a part of it. But when I start thinking about what I want to wake up to every morning and where I want to be… I don’t know if Chicago’s it any more. My heart is miles and miles away.
It started slowly. Every time we’d drive out west for tour. There’s that stretch between eastern California through New Mexico and Colorado. It has always been my favorite part of the trip. It was absolutely beautiful. And the images and the escalation I felt kept lingering in me. So when I see friends out west posting all these amazing pictures, it almost hits like a homesickness for a place that I’ve never lived.
I want to go hiking. I want an easy escape from all the buildings and concrete and noise. I want nature. I want that blend of desert and mountains. And I have absolutely no idea how to get there. (Metaphorically of course.) It’s hard to get a job in another state when you have no connections — even hard to just up and move when you have no savings.
But this is something I really want to do, and I don’t want to look back and regret not giving it a chance. Now is sort of the perfect time too. I’m single and I have no established career. I’m also adult enough to be able to manage on my own far, far away from my family. I know I’ll miss them. I know I’ll grumble about having to get and deal with a car again. I know I’ll miss Chicago. But… It’s just not enough for me any more.
Now if only I could figure out the how in all of this…
AND THEN… in a wonder play in timing from the universe, I read this post from Abby. (Yes, I wrote this post over the weekend and then scheduled it for today.) She didn’t plan and plot and toil away for months or years wondering how to make something like this happen. She just up and did it. She put herself out there, got a job, and is busy packing up. This is exactly the sort of inspirational kick in the butt I needed. So if you don’t mind, I’m going take a closer look at my goals and begin researching possibilities in the area I want to soon call home.