Never let your endometriosis go shopping…

Forewarning: if you can’t handle human bodies.. well, grow up.

For the second time only this year, I’m on my period. You’re probably thinking? Why is this news, and holy lord only your second period all year, it’s AUGUST?! Yep. Thanks to this wonderful, incurable disease I have, called endometriosis, I’m on medication year round to stop my cycle completely and allow me to function as a normal human being. Or, at least, I’m supposed to be.

For the second time this year, I can’t afford my medication. It’s a three month prescription, but thanks to a lack of insurance and well, decreased hours at work… it’s just not something I can afford right now and quite honestly possibly won’t be able to afford until I can get another job lined up.

Now, if you don’t know about endometriosis here are the basics: the lining that’s supposed to be inside your uterus, well it starts growing outside of the uterus. You’ll sometimes hear these growths called lesions, cysts, adhesions, or endometriomas. It doesn’t take a very big growth to cause a world of hurt. My main one was the size of a dime, on my left ovary. That little sucker caused me to buckle over in pain, basically unable to move.

I’m not exactly sure how long I’ve had endometriosis. Average time from symptom onset to a diagnosis can be up to 10 years. Partially because it does take a laproscopic surgery to diagnose. I had that surgery last summer, but after being hospitalized for 4 days with extreme pain back in 2010 — which was when we discovered the growth on my ovary — we could pretty much assume this was the case.

So now that I’m off my medication — which, yes, is a form of the birth control pill — well… let the fun times begin. The pain’s already back… and with it, it brought fun-time bloating. So now it’s extreme cramps and I look like I’m almost 3-months pregnant. JOY.

On top of this, because my whole lower area is extremely fragile right now… well, it sort of gets to pull rank in regards to, well, everything, but most definitely food. And my endo belly has the worst taste in food… and by worst, I mean OMG sugar and dairy and carbs. I mean, my body doesn’t process dairy well and that was a major thing I bought this week. It’s like the endo wants my body to bloat even more.

Here’s what my endometriosis ended up buying:
» ruffled potato chips and french onion dip
» cottage cheese
» 2 boxes of poptarts (smores and brown sugar cinnamon)
» a box of powdered donuts
» egg noodles
» kraft mac & cheese
» 2 frozen “party” pizzas (aka party of one pizzas)
» Eggo waffles
» chocolate ice cream
» double chocolate Milano cookies
» dill pickles

Do you know what I went to the store for? Potato chips and pads. That was all I really wanted to get, but then the endo beast took over. And guess what, ENDO BEAST FORGOT TO BUY PADS. I don’t have those things in the house because since December 2010, the doctors and I had decided to stop my period indefinitely. So now I’ve got to go back to the store and hope I can make it out without 10lbs of Oreos.

*I wrote this on Saturday morning, and there’s a good chance that by the time this posts, 80% of that list or more will have been consumed. The egg noodles will probably be the only ones to survive.