Sometimes you need to question it all

28 January 2015

So maybe barely a month into starting school again isn’t the time to have some sort of existential crisis and start questioning where am I going, where do I want to go with my life. But hey, when do I miss a chance to over complicate my own life? I’m pretty good at running full steam in the exact opposite direction of where I should be going. Want to lose weight? Eat chocolate for dinner. Want to date or be more social? Spend 90% of my time on my couch. Want to save money? Buy a new MacBook Air. So, it only makes sense that I make this big financial and temporal investment in my future, that I begin questioning everything.

Yeah, I’m definitely exaggerating a bit, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat questioning this. And it’s not just those mornings when I’m super tired and my crotchety old lady game is on par. I know I would like to work in a museum. That’s sort of my end goal right now. But, well, I hadn’t really thought about what that would entail. I know sort of the why aspect: I want to work in an environment that allows me to inspire curiosity, in others as well as myself. But I mean, what does that even really mean when we’re talking career goals?

Here’s how I’m approaching it — and yes, it’s sort of a “question everything” approach, but a guarded one because hey, this is indeed a big investment I’m making and I’m not about to just change my mind yet.
But here are the major questions I’m asking myself:

» What is it exactly that I love about museums so much. Now of course, not all of that is tangible. There’s this overwhelming joy that I get from walking into museums — not all, but most. And that moment when you really connect to a piece or exhibit. It sparks something in you and just lights a fire in your imagination. Not to mention, I just love learning about things. Museums let you be a part of it — you get to immerse yourself into it.

» What jobs are currently established and available at museums, and how do those fit in with my skills and passions. When people think museum jobs they think curator. And hell, that’s really what’s been on my mind too. But there are so many more opportunities, and one might just be an amazing fit for me — and I might have a skewed idea of what curators actually do.

» What are the related jobs that might fit in with my skills and passions that just happen to not be at a museum. The job market is what it is. I just want to make sure there’s a backup plan that won’t feel like I’m settling, or failing. Yes, I’ve got a goal, but I’m always open to new opportunities that life throws at me.

» How are the classes I’m taking and the classes that I’m interested in preparing me for any of these careers. As much as I love just learning things, and being able to just pursue these academic fancies, this is a financial investment. And if the ones I’m most interested in are somehow going to get me towards these career goals, well, then what can I do with them. Is it just a “for fun” interest, or is it something more?

The main point in this exercise isn’t to question everything so much that it all falls apart and I’m back to square one. It’s to make sure I’m staying on track. Right now, I don’t have all the answers. And that’s ok. But as long as I keep them in mind, and keep myself in check, I should be all right.

  • Ari Carr

    I’m on a film and screenwriting course and have the same struggles as you daily, especially since I’m in the third and final year. It’s pretty terrifying!

    • Good luck with your final year!!

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