I go through phases with online dating. Most of the time I’m really indifferent towards it. It’s just a site I check when I’m bored, and I don’t invest any real time into it at all. With the semester ending, and realizing I still have another year here… I decided what the hell. Let’s make a tiny bit more of an effort.
I kind of know what I want from a relationship… but at the same time, I don’t really know if I want to get involved with anyone that may interfere with my future plans — i.e. leaving this state for museum jobs or a Ph.D. program. But as much as I really enjoy hanging out with my cohort and my roommates, I wouldn’t mind someone who is a little closer to my age and can fill some other needs that those people can’t (and shouldn’t).
One thing I have found is that the well of 30-something single guys in my area on okc is really dry. Enough so that in my past 3 years of living here, I just figured that’s dating in Indiana and thus I wouldn’t find any eligible non-rightwing guys to spend time with. Internationally, yes. The number of guys in Britain and Turkey who match up with me in the 90%-match range is pretty damn amazing. But I’m lucky to find time to get out of the state, so out of the country is not in the picture!
I’ve been on okc for what feels like forever. I met some really great friends in Chicago on that site. But, yeah, it really wasn’t doing anything for me recently. So… figured let’s just try another site. Or, app, really. And yes. I’m saying that I am now on Tinder.
Initial observations: There are a lot of dudes on Tinder for exactly the reasons you think they’re on Tinder. But you also do have a a fair number of guys looking for “serious” relationships (aka wife hunting). And in my age group a lot of single dads. And of course, a handful of couples looking for thirds. And also my childhood best friend from summer camp — who facebook is saying is still in a committed relationship. (He super liked me.) Yeah.
I’ve met two guys on Tinder so far. I can’t call them dates because, yeah, they were not dates at all. I haven’t talked to the first guy again, but, really wasn’t expecting to. Consenting adults and we knew what we were agreeing to. The second guy and I are developing a friendship. We like each other, but acknowledge we’re not the perfect partner for the other and don’t want to keep each other for finding that person.
I’ve been talking to a small handful of guys consistently. I don’t know if it’s a 30s thing or maybe I’m just getting a really skewed sample size… but do guys just really jump in to calling women “babe” and “honey” so quickly now? I don’t remember that being a thing when I was dating in my 20s. I’ve also thought maybe it’s just guys not wanting to learn my name for whatever reason — I’ve been going to the same Starbucks for 3 years and they still don’t seem to care either!
Anyway. Both of my roommates are also active on dating sites currently, so it’s been fun to compare stories and share various gem of profiles we’ve found so far. I’m not expecting to — or evening looking for — “the one”… but I am hopeful for a few adventures at least!