like a boss (and other random things)

  • I now have more colored jeans (that fit/aren’t torn) than regular denim jeans. And by more, I mean I have two: purple and mint green.
  • It’s been an ongoing, long-ish process, but we’re finalizing details of my promotion. Including the part that’s going to make it easier for me to pay my bills AND have a social life. Also, the word “Director” in my title actually means something now.*
  • Food cravings are not weird things for me, but lately it’s been salt & pepper pork ribs from Lao Sichuan. And cookies. All the cookies.
  • My hair seems to be getting lighter, more brown-blond, as I get older. It’s the complete opposite of my brother, who started light and is now very dark.
  • I test drove a few different dating sites… all I have to say right now, Seriously guys?
  • I’m going to a Pug Party with my pug obsessed friend. Very excited.
  • And mainly… It may be fall, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t enjoy living near the beach… (but FYI, I love fall!)

*At least more so than it did last week.

what I’m up to…

Okay, so my WiiU post isn’t quite ready yet… BUT… I wanted to give you all an update on what’s going on otherwise…

→ Round 2 of my Nintendo Enthused Mario Tennis Open tournament will happen sometime tonight. Battling against TOPolk. Yeah, I’m a little nervous. This guy play this game every night.

→ I’ve been writing more. Nothing pieced together, but I’m getting things out of my head and onto paper. It’s a move in the right direction. Especially since school starts back up September 10th.

→ With tuition coming up soon, I’m taking on a few side hustle projects. So you need some web or design work done, or well, anything else you’d like to pay me for (NOT THAT), hit me up. (This is exactly why I recently took some advertising on the blog.)

→ Making some good strides at work. Hoping for some very good things to come soon.

→ Getting a temporary roommate. I’ll introduce you to her later–some of you already know her. Won’t lie, I’m a little nervous… but I’m also very excited.

→ Still trying to figure out how I’m going to watch Shark Week this year… (no cable at home, not sure if I want to add it on just for the month… but seriously considering it.)

…That’s a quick wrap of what I’ve been up to. What about you?

a week in review

Holy wow this week went fast!

Monday: I barely remember it. Seriously. I think I did some of my reading for class. But I honestly couldn’t tell you what I wore or even what I had for lunch, or if I came home right after work.

Edit: Scratch that. I remember now. I launched Savvy Spork. It’s been such a crazy week it feels like I did that ages ago, and not just on Monday.

Tuesday: Class went well. I had a momentary lapse where I wasn’t sure if class started at 6 or 6:30–mainly because I just head over after work, it’s only a few blocks. And then everyone was running a little late. (It starts at 6. Always has.) But yes, class went well. I didn’t turn in any writing over the weekend, so we just worked on my two classmates’ stories and discussed a couple pieces by John Updike and Anton Chekov.

I also had my midterm meeting with the instructor. That too went well. She was concerned about making sure I get what I need out of the program… and I told her this has been a great experience thus far. She told me not to doubt my skills as a writer, and that others had applied for this term, but I was the only one selected. That all the instructors had read my work and were confident in having me join my classmates who are both nearly finished with the program. (Yeah, talk about wow.)

Wednesday: Reading Band finally met, and we actually had enough people to play. Although by now it’s been a while since I played, so man was I out of shape. It wasn’t too bad, though. But my embouchure wasn’t as strong as it used to be… and well, my fingers still hurt. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to stop playing. I’ll keep helping them out with the organizing and such, but I’ve got to focus on my writing. I’m going to wait until the fall to take a sabbatical from my horn, though.

Thursday: I had lunch at my favorite Irish Pub near work (right next door actually) with one of the instructors. It was nice to finally spend my lunch break away from my desk–first time in months. Then I popped in on the portfolio debut–my former classmates have some amazing work. After work, I was so happy to spend the evening at home I just watched some Netflix and went to bed.

Friday: Work was fairly quite, though I did learn that a large soda at Panda Express is MASSIVE. I also talked to my dad and stepmom, found out more about my Grandfather’s (failing) condition. And now I’m trying to plan another visit back home. I also called my brother, and he said he might take a day off when I visit so we could hang out. And we’re going to attempt to get my cousin to come over to I can play with/meet his pitbull.

Writing it all down it doesn’t seem like the overwhelming and exhausting week that it felt. I’m still tired, my wrist and fingers still hurt. I’ve got a story to turn in tomorrow morning, post cards to finalize for BiSC, and miscellaneous errands to get done before next weekend’s trip to DC. Hopefully I can get a decent amount done this weekend so I can treat myself to some Latin jazz on Sunday–one of my friends is playing in the neighborhood, so I’d like to check it out.

Anyway. How was your week?

in an ideal world

In an ideal world…

  • I’d have an awesome, yet cheap apartment close to school (River North).
  • I’d have a full time job that was basically stress-free and let me work on my school work.
  • I’d have enough time in the day to get all my design work done and have a social life.
  • I’d have health insurance.
  • I’d feel refreshed from however much sleep I’m able to get each night.
  • I’d have crazy mad typography skills.
  • sharpies would never run dry.
  • my computer screen wouldn’t have a large band of zombie pixels.
Life, as always, is really busy and crazy right now. A lot on my plate design-wise. A lot on my plate life-wise (I seriously need a cheaper living arrangement as well as a way to figure out how to pay for school). I’ll push through. But it’s definitely a lot.
So, what’s in your ideal world?

#reverb10: how can I say thanks?

I signed up for this thing called #reverb10. A month full of prompts guided to help me reflect on this past year and focus on goals for the next.

December 14: Appreciation.
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

Chris – He’s meant a lot to me.  He’s supported and loved me for the past five and half months.  As mentioned, we don’t know really what we are or where we are going — but we’re still together.  And I think regardless of how we turn out, because Chris might not be the one (and that’s okay), he’s going to be a big part of my life.  He’s my best friend.

Doctors – Even though I’ve gotten to see, first hand, how much being uninsured in this healthcare system sucks, I do appreciate the doctors who have been taking care of me.  I couldn’t afford surgery, so my doctor tried to do the best she could to make sure I could get by until I finally did have insurance.

Kitties – They’ve been great.  They know me well, and know I’ve been sick and stressed.  They’ve done the best to their little kitteh abilities.  Their cuddles have helped a lot.  Not to mention they’ve been pretty amusing.

Nintendo – So, I may have failed at keeping up with WiiFit Plus… and I haven’t read many classics on my DSi XL… but, having my DSi (and my XL) for long waits at the airport — or for overnight stays at the hospital… Getting awesome “mystery packages” like Kirby or Donkey Kong when I’ve had a shit-tastic week.. or month…  Zoning out, or having a date night in, with Netflix on my Wii… Well, I really appreciate these kind gestures from them.  And if the water ever cools down enough, I’d like to send them some of my awesome tie-died cupcakes as a thanks.

My boss – He’s fought for me on a couple of occasions.  He took a risk hiring me — I had no marketing experience — and when times got tough, he fought to keep me on.  Without him, well, I might be writing this post from my dad’s house — where there are already 7 people living.

The number one?  Well… I’m going to pick my favorite thing to appreciate: My Mom. She’s the most amazing woman I know.  She still takes care of me, and yet again she’s bailed me out of way more times than she’s needed to or should have had to.  I’m still really biased that she’s the best mom ever.  She’s a proud dork, a great musician, a wonderful caregiver — and I think G would easily say that she’s an amazing grandma…

Momma, you’re wonderful and beautiful.  One day I want to take you away to an amazing beach vacation.  Because you more than deserve it.

(And if you’re wondering about prompts 12 and 13?  … Well, I’m hoping 2011 has a lot of action — plenty of dreaming as well as doing.  And for 12 — body integration? Try having 3-4 pelvic exams in ONE day… and then have the very very painful cyst on your ovary poked with an ultrasound wand… pain can make you feel plenty connected with your body…)

oh so.. thankful.

It’s been crazy.  But I’ve got to say, I am extremely thankful.

I am thankful for a family who has always been supportive, and just pretty much amazing.

I am thankful for two kitties who have always been cuddly and can always make me giggle.

I am thankful for a man who’s shown me nothing but love and support — and just happens to make damn good food.

I am thankful for another week of employment, and a boss who believes in my ability.

I am thankful for health insurance, so I can finally see my doctor.

I am thankful for four continuous days of minimal/tolerable pain.

I am thankful for my friends, online and off.

I am thankful for an amazing and relaxing Thanksgiving with Chris and his cousin… …and for food comas… and lots of leftovers…

Every reason NOT to go to work today (or: a tale of doom & woe, part I)

Other than the obvious… here are all the reasons I battled with this morning of why I shouldn’t go to work today, or some other excuse that could possibly keep me from making the 90+ minute commute into work:
  • “Oh no, the Metra took a holiday!”
  • Short term amnesia.
  • My kittens developed a mysterious condition that requires my constant supervision for the next 12 hours.
  • I developed a rare, 24-hour version of the plague.
  • I was abducted by a folk comedy duo from New Zealand.
  • Jesus said no.
  • *cough cough* I’m sick.
  • “You mean today isn’t Thursday?”
  • “Oh no, someone stole my metra card…”
  • Apparently I’m allergic to cubicles.

Sadly, I couldn’t use any of these… as I am currently sitting on the train heading north.  I am indeed going to work today.  Dressed pretty well, if I do say so, for my own funeral.

So to some, this could seem very sudden.  But well, I think I’ve mentioned that there have been some stressful times at my new workplace…  It’s not over.  Those following me on twitter, and my friends on facebook, are a bit more aware of that fact.

We got news of major doom and woe last week — on Friday, not long before we’d all ship off for the weekend.  Well… The Big Bad Wolf was coming and our fates were in his hands.  Nothing is official yet.  But we have another big meeting today.

In part two, I’ll explain what I can.  … but if you know someone who needs a designer, let me know.

And then. And then. And… yeah. (or: still trying to start over)

That whole starting over thing?  Yeah, when was that every going to you know, start. I feel like I’m trapped in that scene in Dude, Where’s My Car with the Chinese drive through and “And then” and it’s never ending….  (Yes, I’m admitting to have seen this movie.)

Here’s some of it.  A select some of it…

– I’m one month in to my new job.  I love it, but it’s not without its own stresses.  I’m just thankful for great coworkers, steady pay, benefits, and being able to design and be creative all day.

– I’m apartment searching again.  I’ve found a place I’m leaning towards; just have to view it, decide on a unit (since more than one is available) and then sign the lease.  Hopefully all three will happen this weekend.  I’m chronicling my search, what I do with the new place, and all things interior here: Pretty Pretty ‘Partment.  If you know any females in Chicago looking for an apartment, please contact me and I’ll send you the info.

– I’m still in the “I want a puppy” phase, though I know this is realistically not possibly in the slightest… However, I am pleased to announce my “adoption” a (non-existant) pug named Moogs… spawned by a conversation between LiLu and myself.  You can find our pups here: The (non-existant) Adventures of Beau & Moogs.  Expect a Saturday Morning cartoon miniseries soon.

– I’m counting down the days weeks until my doctor’s appointment.  All this crap that started in July?  Yeah, still dealing with it.  I spent most of the weekend on Chris’ couch.  And Chris was very gracious to help take care of me all weekend.  I hate feeling like I’m eating all his food — though neither of us can really afford to eat out — but the man can cook.  (Who is the “Chris”??  I got tired of using “The Bartender” — Chris is his name and it’s what I’m going to be calling him from now on.)  Anyway.  The “tolerable” pain is going through the cycle of becoming intolerable yet again.  Pull out a dime.  That’s the size of the thing I’m dealing with.  And absolutely cannot wait to have surgery to remove and figure out what exactly is causing all of this.

– I’ve pretty much given up on NaNoWriMo.  No energy.  No motivation.  But I still keep notes and such… for this writing project and maybe another graphic one (Script Frenzy in April? Maybe.)

I will be happy when a lot of this stuff I’ve been dealing with is over.  Starting new and fresh isn’t some instantaneous thing.  You don’t just get to turn the page and bam! new story.  Nope, everything is still tainted by the previous chapters.  You’ve just got to get your characters moving through the plot.  I’m pushing forward, slowly and surely.  It feels like I have weights on my feet and a pack twice my size… but I haven’t given up yet.  (Trust me, I’ve wanted to.  When everything is continually telling you that you are a failure — why try?  I can’t let myself believe that, and it’s been an uphill battle.)

crying in your cubical. and everything else that's going wrong. (and, oh yeah, things that are going right.. and duck butts.)

The last thing you want to do at your new job is look like the crazy girl.  But there I was, freaking out, crying and shaking and did I mention freaking out?  All in front of someone way more important than me.

To say this has been a hard week, well, honestly, my brain just can’t work out anything clever to say.  This week was completely unexpected and very challenging.  I was hoping I was free from the drama for a little bit… but apparently The Universe has some other plans for me.

I can’t go into details, but there are changes happening at my job.  It’s effecting us all.  However, I support the vision for our company and despite what is going on presently am very excited about said vision.  So basically we have to weather this storm to get to our sunny skies.

Anyway.  Of course drama and stress and the shit that hits the fan doesn’t travel alone.  So there are other things piled up on this too.  So when everything piled up, and then this morning’s bad thing happened… well, I just couldn’t handle it.  I broke.  I became that crazy emotional girl in the office.

But in all of this, I have to stay positive.  (Or as Nico put it, let it all out and start fresh.)  I’ve got to focus on the good things.  So that’s what I’m going to do…

The good things:

  • I have a mystery package.  Well, I don’t have it.  The Bartender has it.  But it’s mine.  I have a slight guess as to what it is… but the anticipation!
  • The very fact that The Bartender rode all the way to the FedEx office for me to pick up said mystery package due to the fact that I’m gone 14-15 hours every day and they do not deliver on weekends…
  • The fact that The Bartender came over for cuddles on the “uber shit hit the fan” day…
  • My kitties, though crazy, are little bundles of furry love.
  • One of my best friends got married this past weekend.  I couldn’t be happier for her.  (I plan a post covering this whole thing… below might be a preview…)
  • Said best friend (Chrizzle) married a coast guard.  Thus even more coasties at the wedding.  In their dress whites.  ….. …. yeah.*
  • I got to dance, a lot, with one of those coasties.  … … yeah.**
  • (Technically I danced with 3 coasties, but one was the groom… )
  • Due to the location of the wedding city’s lack of taxi services on weekends, I made new friends.  They were kind enough to drive me around, do blue bombs*** with me, and just generally be pretty awesome people.
  • My coworkers, boss, superiors… everyone at work… are pretty freaking amazing.
  • As I was riding home tonight, I looked out the train window just as we were passing a small lake.  There were ducks.  Just floating there.  Then one flipped…. Duck butt.  (Small things, right?)

So what’s your positive?  Big or small…

*It was decided by myself and two of my new female friends that coast guards in dress whites should be required at every wedding… or any formal event… or…
**Before I get any “but what about you and The Bartender??!?!” comments… He knew about the dancing.  We also have an understanding.  If I was using facebook’s statuses, “it’s complicated”…  Anyway.  The Coastie lives in Florida.  And who wouldn’t want to dance with an attractive guy in uniform?
***holy wow. SO MUCH SUGAR.

taking a look at the glass — empty or full?

I hate all this suckfest that seems to be going on with me right now.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some very good things that are hopefully coming my way.  But there’s been some pretty big, not so great things come my way too.

But when I look at it, I can’t tell if the glass is half empty or half full.


  • Fairly obvious by now, The Pain. Maybe it’s from endometriosis, maybe not.  Regardless, it’s not been a fun journey.  Currently, the pain is making it’s return, and I’m low on supplies.
  • Due to The Pain, I haven’t been able to work full-time like I used to.  Previously I’d have 45-50 hours a week.  Now? 20-35.  I’m slowly getting more hours, but right when I get to a point where I can start doing more they cycle begins again and I’m out of commission for those 7-9 hour days, on my feet and running the store.
  • Because I can’t work full time, my financial situation sucks.  With every paycheck since being in the hospital, I’ve had to get help from family.  Regardless of the fact that this next paycheck is coming a week later than we thought it would, it’s still not going to be enough to cover my bills and such.
  • Due to lack of funds, buying food hasn’t been something I can easily do.  This month, I think I’ve really only been able to get one loaf of bread and some cat food.






  • The previously mentioned, potentially good thing seems to just keep getting better.  It’s almost looking like a reality.  I should hopefully get some good news this week.  Which means I can hopefully share what’s going on soon.
  • Even though we technically broke up, I still have The Bartender in my life.  I’ve never really had someone show and verbalize how much the care for me like he has.  It’s a little overwhelming, in a very good way.  Neither of us really see anything long term with this relationship, but neither of us are ready to abandon what we have just yet.
  • OMG the support I’ve gotten from various people… from my Lovely roommate, to commenters, to bloggy-friends, tweeps, my endo support group, co-workers… the list just keeps going.  I’ve had just people saying they were thinking about me, to offers for food… (which I do want to thank Ramon from Dominos for providing me with dinner one night, and a ride home.)
  • I can’t forget my family.  They’ve footed too many of my bills and carried my burdens for so long now… I know, that’s what family does… but I still can’t say thanks enough.  It’s thanks to my family I’m going to be able to take a much needed vacation out east.  Boston, Maine, Montreal and Toronto.  October 4-10.  It was hard deciding to just not work for a week when I need money so badly right now… but I need to take care of my mental health too.  And being with family and getting a break trumps staying here.


There are both good and bad things surrounding me right now.  I go from celebrating to wanting to hide under the covers.  I’m trying to stay focused on the Full, but the Empty has a very loud voice.

Loud enough to make me consider swallowing my pride to ask for help from the internets…