As much as don’t want to take away from Rachel’s guest post… I was going through my reader, and noticed this post from my friend Mawls.
“I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do.”
That’s sort of how I feel right now. I mean, I’m not necessarily stressed about life. I’m just not sure what the next step is.
I’ve got a few leads on jobs… but nothing definite.
I’m still meeting people… but nothing’s really got my heart racing.
That last part, the relationship part, has been on my mind lately. I talked to the boy recently. The first time since his concert. I initiated it. I sent him a text message. Just asking about his other band’s first show. We talked for a little bit the next day online. It was like how we always talked.
I might get some flack for this… but I want another chance with him. Yeah. What he did hurt me, and I didn’t deserve it. But it’s easy for me to want to forgive that. Everything else about hanging out with him was awesome. I was really happy. … I want that back.
So. Well. It’s not really up to me, though is it? … and that sucks…
I don’t really know what to do though… I don’t know if he’s still with his ex, or if it was short lived… Or if he’d even be interested in seeing me again…
I still get butterflies when I think about him. It’s still hard to stop smiling. This hasn’t happened in a long time. Especially not so quickly — we talked for almost two months, went on three dates (three really fun dates)… I mean, don’t get me wrong, yeah, I’m a hopeless romantic, but this isn’t like that. I was really happy with him. I don’t just want to let that slip away…
So. What do I do?
part of me really wish he’d read this, but I know the chances of that are low… and I feel awkward sending him a link rather than just writing him an email… *sigh*
I’ll get into the job thing later…