the missing peace*

Continuing with the relationship thing…  I’ve come to a few conclusions.

I’m perfectly OK being single.
Being in a relationship does not change my self worth.  It does not necessarily make me a better person.  And it won’t necessarily make me a happier person either.  Some people can live an amazing part of their adult lives on their own without a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse (recognized by the government or not)…

However, it is not very common for someone to go that very large part of the lives without some sort of life partner(s)… At least in my opinion.

We’re social creatures.  Communication is an important to our species.  Honestly, I can’t think of any other animal that their mouth’s primary design isn’t for consumption of food but rather for talking.  (I’ve got my linguistic professor, Skip, to thank for that little tidbit of knowledge.)

It’s not necessarily the having a boyfriend thing I miss, it’s having a companion.  I want the person I’m dating to be a good friend, if not my best friend.  I want them to be there enjoying life with me.  Or as I’ve put it a few times, a best friend I get to make out (and other things) with.

As it stands now, I’m living by myself and I don’t get to spend all the much time (offline) with my friends.  I have a social life, but I’m missing that companionship.  When I’m occupying my time with friends, and having people I can still hug on and whatnot, I tend to forget about wanting to date.  It’s still on the back of my mind, but really at that point I’m just missing the making out and other things.  Those things are nice, but they aren’t the point of being in a relationship.

I think that’s why I’m allowing myself to go through all this craziness.  I’m just hoping that at the end of all of this, I’ll get that friend that I want to spend the here and now with… and just maybe my tomorrows too.

*The Missing Peace is actually the title of one of my history books from college.  And while a companion (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or other) won’t make me a complete person, there is no “better half”… there is a sort of peace that comes from being with such a person.