I should be stressed.

It recently came to my attention (by myself) that I should be stressed.  Or more stressed than I am.  I mean, I have my days… but overall, I almost feel like a hippie with all this carefree-ness floating around.

  • I’ve been unemployed for about a month and half now
  • I didn’t get the writing job in Madison, let alone an interview
  • I’m practically a hermit
  • Credit card debt? Yeah, um, hi.
  • How many times can I get rejected by guys each month?
  • I’m on a month-to-month lease
  • If I pay my cell phone bill, I don’t know if I can buy food
  • I can’t afford rent next month
  • I can’t afford the medications I was previously taking
  • I have no idea what’s happening with grad school — as in, if I’m going to apply or if I’ll be able to finish a portfolio in time
  • Oh, and yeah, if I do apply to grad school where’s that money going to come from?
  • Someone I know in real life has threatened legal action against me (they have no case though)… and there might be awkward, if not potentially frustrating and miserable times ahead (depending on this other person’s actions)

Those are just the things off the top of my head.  I have no idea what’s going on with me or many of those things listed above.  Sometimes I wonder why I’m not stressed — me, the Queen of Stress, who’s been hospitalized with acute, temporary paralysis thanks to stress… How am I calm?  I feel like I should be freaked out.  (And yes, I know, why am I complaining? Shouldn’t this be a good thing?)

Well, for one… My mom’s talked about loaning some money so I can stay in Chicago another month.  And also, something about my cell bill and helping make sure that the kittens and I have food.  I’ve got a freelance web design job lined up for next month too… It won’t be much, but it’s something.  And I am still applying to jobs.  (I’m awesome, someone will hire me.)  And, um, yeah, flirting still.  I sort of have a little bit of a crush on someone… and I honestly don’t care if it develops into anything.  Truly.  It’s just been fun talking to someone and giggling.  (I’m awesome, someone will date me.)

I may not know what’s going to happen, or how things are going to be taken care of… I don’t even know how long I’ll stay in Chicago.  Things will work out though.  Somehow.  Right?