on my mind

There’s been a lot on my mind lately.  Trying to manage my pain, still.  Wondering if it’s only a matter of days until the next episode of severe pain.  Trying to get my finances straight.  Wondering if my account will be overdrawn yet again, or if my family can loan me money in time, yet again.  Trying to pull my weight at work.  Wondering if things there will get better.  Trying to get quality time with The Bartender.  Wondering…

There’s a lot going on… beyond all that mess up there.

But all I really want… what I think I need… is cuddling up with that shark right there.  I want my safe haven back.  Whether it’s wrapped up in a quilt my mother made, or in a certain someone’s arms.   But mostly that state of mind.  Something longer than the hours I’m unconscious.