Endo Surgery: It’s happening. It’s actually happening.

Tuesday, June 11th. 9:30am. I’m finally having my first laparoscopic surgery, and will finally find out if I do indeed have endo like we’ve thought for the last 3 years since the cyst was found.

I say first lap because if this is indeed endometriosis, then depending on what stage it is, most-likely I will end up having more laps throughout my life. Or at least, until I go through menopause or my uterus is removed — which ever happens first.

But for right now, it’s Tuesday, June 11th at 9:30am.

Easy to say I’m nervous. Even though I know I’ll be fine, I’m stressed. And at this point, I’m just laughing at the stress. Not soon enough it’ll all be over and done with.

It started with prep. No food and cleaning out my system the day before, aka today. (FUN TIMES GUYS.) And then when I get to the hospital, at 8am, they’ll get me all ready for the surgery. I’ll have my IV port put in, get my gown and robe. And they’ll go over all the details with my mom and me. Then surgery time.

They’ll give me the anesthetics, which will knock me out for the whole procedure. They’ll inflate my abdomen like a balloon, so they have enough room to work and move around. Then, they’ll make 3 incisions. They’ll remove the cyst they know is there, and my doctor will be looking for any and all signs of endometriosis, removing as many lesions she feels she can do safely. Once it’s all done, they’ll patch me back together, and assuming everything goes as planned, it shouldn’t take more than a couple hours.

They’ll give all the important information and such to my mom, since I’ll still be groggy. I’ll rest for a bit, they’ll check how I’m coming to, and I should be able to go home that evening. I’ll rest for the rest of the week, including for my 29th birthday. As I’m feeling up for it, I’ll keep moving around and go for some walks around my neighborhood (ie: the beach). I should be back at work on Monday.

What scares me most is having hours of my day just gone. I’ll be knocked out, and I know I’ll be fine during that time, but I’m not going to be conscious for this. I think what makes me nervous about that is just not having any control at all. If the endo is worse than we think, I could lose an ovary. I might actually lose more than that if it’s really bad, but I was told she’d wake me up before basically rendering me infertile or having to remove other damage/affected organs.

I’m also nervous because I’ve been hurt by medical professionals before, not physically per say, but mentally and emotionally. It’s hard when there’s something big going on with you and they can’t figure out why. So part of me is still scared that I won’t get answers.

BUT. In the end, I know I will be all right. My mom’s here to take care of me, and mom’s make it all better, right? (My mom definitely does, she’s the best.) And this surgery is, hopefully, going to provide a lot of answers, and I can begin working towards regaining my life.

There’s been a lot going on with me, most of it I’ve kept hidden. But slowly and surely I’m making bold steps to regaining my life. It’s not going to be an easy or pretty process. But it’s necessary. And it’s all starting Tuesday, June 11th, at 9:30am.