sometimes you need to be ridiculous

Every so often I get fidgety. I crave change. Big. Small. Something.

I’ve had a few ideas for a while, but I kept holding back. I chickened out. I remember back in February talking with friends about wanting to dye my hair purple. A lavender ombre, actually. I wanted hair about 6 inches past my shoulders, I wanted to add some curl to it… But I grew impatient and by June my hair still wasn’t the length I wanted so I chopped it all off.

I don’t regret it. I enjoy having short hair. But I still hadn’t lost my interest in purple hair. I always found an excuse not to do it. Money. Time. The fact that someone else just did it.

And then this past weekend, sitting on the beach I asked myself “what the fuck am I afraid of?” I had no good answer to why I was holding myself back. If I can’t make the small leaps, how am I going to handle the big ones?

So on Monday evening I walked myself down to CVS and bought a couple bleaching kits.

getting ready to bleach my hair   bleaching my dark brown hair

Yeah, I know. Boxed kits. I should really trust my hair to a professional with tasks like these… but honestly there was no way I was going to drop $80 before tip to bleach hair this short. So I dropped about $20 on two box kits. And yes, as you can see, my hair turned out fairly brassy. Which is why I bought 2 boxes…

Re-bleaching my hair, brown to blonde, for the second time, platinum

So round two of bleaching. Which I don’t really recommend doing it as quickly as I did — within less than 24 hours of each other. But I did do a conditioning treatment in between.

I spent so much of this week laughing at myself. I looked ridiculous. Not in a bad way, just in a different way. I was born with dark hair and have always had dark hair — outside of a few dyed shades of orange and red throughout my youth. And now I was watching my hair change before my eyes through various shades of yellow.

If this “break” has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t have to take everything so seriously. Be proactive, yes. Do things, yes. Move forward, yes. But live. Have fun. Enjoy life. What is the point otherwise? Take risks for the sake of fun or happiness or just because. Not everything has to be perfect.

I’m giving myself permission to explore my passions without hesitation. No more excuses. It’s time to really pursue the life that is completely me. And with that, I’m also giving myself permission to be ridiculous. If anything, it’s a reminder that as long as I’m enjoying my life, I’m doing something right.

Photo Aug 27, 4 33 26 PM

So no. My hair’s still not purple. Yet. But I’m definitely a lot closer now than I was before. And I am totally enjoying this ride.