All the things: July edition

There’s been a good deal of things that I want to tell all of you, but I either don’t have the time or the energy or the words. So I’m going to try to cover my bases here, and hopefully expound later where warranted.

» I’m not going to fail!
Over the weekend I wrote about how I couldn’t complete my class. I had to call it quits on my attempts. I couldn’t balance work, school, endo, and life. And because of that, I did not finish my papers. And because of that, I was going to get an F in the class and tank my chances at getting latin honors.

Thankfully, my professor granted my request for an incomplete. Now I have until December 1 to finish all of the missing papers. My goal is to get them done well before that, as school starts back up at the end of August. However, I have to re-rent my text books since their due date coincided with the end of the summer term. I’m also going to see if they might have them at the library. I’m just very glad, and very grateful to get a chance to finish this class, and to do so at an academic level I’m proud of.

» Biting my tongue
I’m finding around people I don’t necessarily share the same views with more often. Sometimes it’s casual bigotry, other times it’s conservative religious speech. And often it’s in a professional atmosphere. I don’t call people out on it because, well, one: I’m low person on the totem pole, and two: I’m chicken. A lot of it I hear in passing, and I just don’t know how to jump into a conversation just to tell someone that what they’re saying is offensive. Especially since I doubt I’ll change their views on anything. I can’t really talk to HR because the woman there outright asked if I was Christian while I was interviewing — which, you know, is illegal. It’s just… a not so awesome situation where I’m just ignoring the little comments and hoping they go no further. It’s not the right thing to do…

» Losing my strength
My endometriosis takes a lot out of me. Even on my good days it can be exhausting. Throw on top of this the weight of depression… Well, I’m just tired. I’ve dealt with depression on and off since at least high school. Endometriosis comes with it’s own set of The Downs. I’m just not sure I’ve got what it takes any more to deal with this disease any more. This really deserves its own post, but yeah… I’m just ready to get a break from all of this.

» About to gain a brother!
My little sister’s getting married tomorrow! We’ve had a rocky relationship. And really, we’re not close. Which saddens me a lot. But. Anyway. I am very happy for her. I’m hoping some day we can repair that, that she can see me like a sister again… but until then, I’ll celebrate her tomorrow, play with my nieces, spend time with my other siblings, and try not to be too awkward around my stepfamily.

And basically, as far as how I’m doing… mostly fine. But yeah. Tired and ready for a break. Thankfully the fleas are about 98% gone. Just a few here and there. Been killing them on the spot. Either with tape or pinching them and drowning them. Anyway. Looking forward to getting back to our regularly scheduled cuddle time with my cats.